As a relationship coach, I talk to a lot of single women. It's pretty rare to find one who wants to be in a relationship, isn't in one and is perfectly relaxed about it. There is usually some fear lurking under the surface.
SINGLE AND LOVING IT
By Rabbi Arnie Singer, founder of Jcoach.com tips for finding love The competition in dating is fierce. That's a fact. There are women out there going for the same men as you are, and here's the hard truth -- some are going to be more beautiful than you. In places like NYC and LA, there are loads of these women. If you're one of those beauties, you can probably stop reading this and continue doing whatever's been working for you.
Being single is an awesome thing! I know we have been conditioned to be in a relationship at all times and pretend to be happy with the person who is just there, because you don't want to be alone. But throw that ideology out of your mind! Being single is a fabulous thing and it gives you time and experience to know who you are and what you want!
Are you asking yourself, “Hey, if I want to be in a relationship, then why are we talking about how to be a successful single?!” The answer is that if you’re not feeling happy and fulfilled in your life right now, there’s a good chance that you’ll attract someone else who’s unhappy and dissatisfied with life, too… not a great formula for a supportive partnership!
But, if you are not thinking "I cannot imagine not being with this man" you know, but are afraid to admit, that you are not ready to get engaged.
At roughly the midway point in my recent sixty day dating detox, a good friend of mine casually mentioned that I join her weekly Book Club at their upcoming meeting. Evidently, they were beginning a 6 week “dating course” about attracting mature and meaningful relationships, and my friend thought that I would be a great addition to the group…particularly for this little adventure. I mean…obviously.
Not everyone has the same goals in mind when they enter the Dating World and if you don’t know that fact you are likely to be surprised and disappointed in most of your attempts at relationships. Most people assume that everyone out in the Dating World has the same goals in mind. If we are looking for True Love followed by marriage and kids, or no kids, we assume that’s what everyone we date is looking for too. We believe it is the Right Way and the Only Way to live life and have relationships.
Don't stress over your single status this season. Instead, embrace your freedom. The summer seems to amplify the cons of single life. Well, don't worry you are not alone. It is amazing to have someone, but if you do not, we are advocating that you embrace your single status this summer. It is time to focus on other aspects of your life and stop stressing over when you will find that perfect person. Here's how.
Relationships are awesome — let's just get that out of the way. Love is — well — lovely. All day long, we are surrounded by women who want to be in relationships, and for good reason. However, many of these same women are so caught up with worrying about their next date, or when they will finally meet the one that they forget how to enjoy the moment.
Q: I hate to admit it, but I've started calling my exes and reconnecting with them because I am so lonely. When I come home from work, my house feels empty. I work on projects, and I have hobbies - but it feels flat improving my home, cooking, and watching movies all alone. Most of my friends have coupled off, and I have lost my friend support network. I don't want to jump into a relationship unless it is with the right person, but I'm going crazy spending so much time by myself. - Is Single and Happy an Oxymoron?
A reporter asked me to help him with his column the other day, and his first question was: “Valentine’s Day is coming up. But where can you meet someone if you’re single?” I replied, “That's like asking me where to go eat when you're hungry. First you need to tell me what you like, what you are hungry for? I certainly wouldn't want to send you to a seafood restaurant if you can’t stand fish! As elementary as it sounds, we need to make this distinction and move away from the one-size-fits-all relationship mentality.
Last November after my second break up in five years, I made the grave mistake of attempting to jump right back into the dating market. Old habits die hard; I have been perpetually in relationships since the age of 16, and I am now 27. That's a long timeframe of codependency, embarassing to admit, but I've grown from the acknowledgement of my mistake. Once I was burned and ditched for his high school flame, I allowed myself to spend a weekend in a self pity party so depressing that I was close to pulling a Joseph Gordon-Levitt in 500 Days of Summe
Do you ever feel pressured to be with some one for Valentines Day when in your heart of hearts you are really ok with being alone? I recently did a reading for a woman who was really down on herself. Why? Because all of her friends are in long term relationships and married and she is still single. As we continued to talk, she began to pour out her heart.
Men and women usually go to the club for vastly different reasons. Men go to the club to find women, find women, and to find women. Women go to the club to sometimes find a man, but also to enjoy themselves by dancing and drinking the night away with friends. Men are reactionary creatures. If you want to know what we think about you at the club, all you need to do is evaluate one thing: Your activity at the club. Men read what women give us to read. It’s as simple as that.
Now that the holidays are looming and people are ramping up for parties and gatherings of all kinds, I'm starting to hear single people murmuring about wanting to shrink and hibernate for a while. They admit they don't find the glamour of the holidays quite as tinsel perfect as their dating and married friends.
Are you already experiencing a feeling of dread because the Holidays are quickly approaching and you’re single and alone? You’re surrounded with advertising showing happy couples, laughing, kissing and seemingly having a great time. The more you see the worse you feel! The more you hear, “Tis the season to be jolly” or “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire” the more you feel like crying. You wish you could be jolly; if you only knew how.
Every woman is working with the same pool of men. Say there are four billion men on Planet Earth. This is the pool of men that you have to work with. In this pool, there are going to be gentlemen, pimps, players, hustlers, and psychos. But, it’s the same pool of men. It’s not like the crazy men are coming from outside this pool. The question is, why do some women always attract the crazy men? The answer is you. You can either repel or invite these men into your life. The only reason you attract crazy men is because you talk to them.