We're talking about sweeping the cobwebs from your mind.
The last vestiges of winter are blasting us and all I can think is that I just want it to be over. Unfortunately I know that there are still a few more weeks left and winter is, well, winter. Despite the fact that we're still stuck with ice and snow, I can't help but long for warmer weather. How about you? Are you ready to bring on the spring?
What about other parts of your life? Do you want the challenges and the stress to be over? Are you anxious to usher in a new personal season too? You're not alone! Here's some rejuvenating news: You don't have to wait for spring to make a change. You have the ability to cause a shift in your life, right now. Neither circumstances nor others play a role in what happens next for you: Only you do.
Yes ... you may have to deal with a partner who isn't partnering, a boss who is bossy and even a bill collector who is a bully. Their attitudes and actions, though, are their issues, not yours. You get to decide how you allow them to affect you and whether you're ready sweep them out the door.
I can hear you now: "You're wrong Cheryl. It's not like I can ignore them. They are a very real part of my life." I do understand. For years I fought for control, struggled and even railed against the issues in my life. The more I indulged the events and people I believed were out to make my life miserable, I became angrier, more frustrated and unhappy. But all of those feelings were choices I made. You're making them too.
No one can "make" you feel anything. You choose to. No circumstance or event can stress you out. You alone decide how you react to people and circumstances. The interesting thing is that you can do a total 180 degree turn from your usual choice and nothing will have changed ... except you.
Instead of being frustrated with your partner, why not choose to think "They are doing what they believe is best/right/appropriate. I don't understand and I think I disagree. We need to talk through it." It's a hard conversation to have, but one that becomes easier each time you do it. Rather than curse out your boss and gossip about how poorly he’s treating you, stop and take a breath. Think about what he is trying to accomplish. If you don't know, then ask him.
It's a simple step of seeking clarity and you may just discover that his "bossiness" has nothing to do with you. As for the bill collector? You may not like how he is conducting his business and you have the option of reporting him if you are being harassed. (On the other hand, he may just be doing his job and you feel badly because you haven't paid on time). That's OK too because you know you're not where you want to be – and you also don't you're not planning to stay there.
Each shift in perspective enables you to sweep away the stress of the moment ... regardless of how long the moment seems to be. By taking a more positive approach you're not ignoring reality. You're choosing to change it. And change is what you wanted, isn't it? The beauty of all of this is that you don't have to wait for a new season to do a little spring cleaning of your own life. You just have to want a fresh start.
What area of your life needs a little dusting? Comment below and let's inspire others to do the same.
For more ideas on how to make the positive changes your need check out Simple Steps Real Change Magazine.
Do you feel like you're back at Square One? Join Cheryl on March 12th and learn how to "Surf the Emotional Waves of Change of Starting Over."
More on how to be happy from YourTango:
- Happiness Happens: 20 Tips To Increase Your Happiness
- How To Be Happy With Yourself: 5 Must-Read Tips
- How To Deal With Depression After Divorce: 5 Actionable Tips