I have worked with individuals and couples for the past 43 years, and I have heard this question countless times: "Why doesn't my partner want to have sex with me?" Over and over, I discover that there is often ONE major reason he or she doesn’t want to have sex.
Salma Hayek is 44? Well, she certainly doesn't look it on the cover of Allure's September issue! The actress recently took some time apart from promoting her new cosmetics line, Nuance, to talk to the magazine about aging, and, well, being so darn sexy!
In some ways, nothing much has changed for women when it comes to sexuality. We still box it up instead of integrating sexuality fully into our lives. We have so many misconceptions about what it is to attract love, lovers and hot steamy sex into our lives. So many of us still believe that it is the our lovers that bring sex to us, instead of the other way around. We think that someone else is going to light our fire. The fact is that if we keep waiting for the knight in shining armour to arrive we may never leave the castle.
Research indicates that over 55% of married women are not interested in having sex with their husbands. I've worked with many men who also are not interested in sex with their wives. The problem is generally not a lack of sexual desire - it's that they are not interested in sex with their partner. Why?
During my many years of counseling couples, I have frequently worked with the sexual problems that often occur in committed relationships. The most common complaint from men regarding sex is frequency, and the most common complaint from woman is lack of emotional intimacy. There is a very good reason why these are the most common complaints - men and women are very different when it comes to sex!
Last week, a children’s bookseller, Elizabeth Bluemle wrote a fascinating blog over at Publisher’s Weekly Shelf Talker – about being “enamored of an adult non fiction selection called Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure, and Somehow Got Home in Time To Cook Dinner. It’s the story of th
Erica Jong, known best for her book “Fear of Flying” is waxing poetic in the Sunday New York Times about what has happened to the sex lives of the younger generation. According to Jong, younger women are yearning for the nostalgia of a 50’s era happily ever after notion of monogamy, marriage and motherhood. Jong says it’s a kind of rebellion and a desire for control.
Be honest: if a grown woman has wild sex with numerous lovers after divorce, do you think she'll have difficulty being faithful in her next serious relationship? In other words, do you think women can't control their sexuality once it's uncaged?
When was the last time you really felt touched? Or gave touch? Think about it - I don't mean a hand shake - or a pat on the back when someone does a great job. I am talking about intentional loving touch, just for the sake of connection, intimacy and pleasure. After all - It is such a basic thing right? The ability to give and receive touch - and yet it is where most couples stumble. How can you stumble in giving and receiving touch you may ask? Isn't touching something that everybody knows how to do. Well - maybe, and perhaps not so much!
Women are redefining the definition of orgasm into something completely female. Women are redefining orgasm in a brand new way for themselves. They are no longer willing to be held hostage to definitions of orgasm that follow the male model of erection and ejaculation.
Jennifer Wright Knust, Baptist pastor and professor of Religion at Boston University, makes a number of shocking and unorthodox claims in her new book. She writes: “Looking to the Bible for straightforward answers about anything, including sex, can only be a disappointment. When read as a whole, the Bible provides neither clear nor consistent advice about sex . . . If one biblical writer condemns those who engage in sex before marriage, others present premarital sex as central to God’s plan. Just about every biblical commandment is broken, and not only by biblical villains . . . It is therefore a mistake to pretend that the Bible can define our ethics for us in any kind of straightforward way.” Ouch. As someone who strongly believes that the Bible is God’s word to his people, Knust’s assertions really stung.
"Lucky for me, I ended up with a boy whose favorite color is pink. Toenail painting is way more fun in neon." That's the quote, accompanied by a photo of J.Crew's creative director, Jenna Lyons, applying pink polish to 5-year-old son Beckett's toenails, that's caused a firestorm of cultural controversy and had critics crying "transgendered child propaganda." We're pretty sure the minds behind the catalog ad thought the toenail painting was just a cute mother-son activity to highlight on their "Saturday with Jenna" page. Prominent conservatives thought otherwise.
I am not a huge music aficionado but I have some favorite artists and songs. Rihanna is right up there. Disturbia makes for a mean cha cha and a nice change from the old school Latin songs on the dance floor. When her latest hit, S & M, hit the airwaves, I turned up the volume. It’s got a great beat and the lyrics are a prescription for permission to invite the vixen out to play.
So you know you're not interested in 'serious'. Maybe you've recently divorced, or gone through a break up. Or maybe you're simply focused on other aspects of your life right now. Nonetheless, some part of you is craving sex. BIG time. And you're considering having a casual sexual relationship (or two...or five) cause otherwise, you swear you just might go insane.
Many would agree that as a culture we have been seduced by industries that spend billions of dollars each year encouraging us to buy and buy and buy to try to achieve an elusive and unfeasible ideal of beauty. Millions of our friends, family and neighbors feel so tortured by this unattainable standard of beauty that they are willing to starve themselves, make themselves sick or avoid interaction with others because they feel ashamed of being seen. On the less extreme scale, millions of others feel disappointed about their bodies and beli
Sexual disorders are like people -- they come in all shapes, sizes, and kinds. A sexual disorder doesn't mean something is "wrong" with you, only that you're experiencing the kind of issue that can suddenly affect anyone, at any time in their lives, for any reason or no reason whatsoever. While many sexual issues can be traced back to a physical problem or a sudden change in one's life circumstances, many sexual disorders' causes are not well-known or understood.