10 Tips for a Sane Divorce Micki McWade, LMSW Psychotherapist and Collaborative Divorce Coach Author of Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On: a Twelve Step Guide to Divorce Recovery and Daily Meditations for Surviving a Breakup, Separations or Divorce
They come out of nowhere. And we are never prepared for them. I call them sucker punches. Divorce sucker punches; or the moments that unexpectedly take our breath away. You know what I am talking about, because we all experience them. They are waves of sadness, loss, loneliness and grief that are triggered by something completely unexpected.
Why is self worth necessary in order to be vulnerable? When we seek validation from others, we give away our power by letting them define our worth. If your worth depends on your partner’s validation, you won’t say what’s really on your mind and how you feel. You’ll censor your words and emotions in order to get your partner’s love, approval and acceptance.
For most women the end of a marriage feels like starting life completely over from scratch. So although it might feel strange, divorce can ultimately become the “best, worst thing” that ever happens. And, armed with that mindset, life after divorce can signal a new beginning. One day, your marriage will be a thing of your past; even though you may share things like children, pets, homes, and in some cases financial responsibilities, you will be able to move past it.
You've done everything you can to make the marriage work. You've been to more than one marriage counselor, you've read every book on how to make a marriage great, and you've struggled with the consequences for both you and your children on calling it quits. You've come to the painful conclusion that no matter how much you want your marriage to work, it simply does not. You submit to the reality of divorce and you're ready to take that final step out of your marriage and into the unknown territory of navigating a divorce.
Ending a low quality relationship can be associated with considerable improvement in our wellbeing. There is a point at which it makes good sense to get out of a bad relationship. This even holds true for children and divorce: Ending a highly conflicted marriage can be good for children in time (a good thing to remember when you're wondering if you should "stay together for the kids").
BY Hope Kumor So, you hear those heart-wrecking words, "Let's break-up." But, it's mutual. Despite this fact, it's still excruciatingly painful on both parties. You decide to stay friends. In fact, you pretend like nothing has changed as you plan to see one another the day after. You want to make the situation as easy and simple as possible. You want the transition to go smoothly and not be awkward. The next morning, he is supposed to come over around 1:00 pm. You cry that morning because you finally realize it's over.
1. Lack of communication - One of the biggest challenges most couples face is poor communication or lack of communication. If one or both partners in the relationship do not communicate their challenges and concerns, this is usually a sign that you're heading down the wrong path.
After one-and-a-half years of fruitless (and awkward) babymaking sex, we had decided it was time to move forward with Plan B and seek out fertility testing. It was a big step. After all, not so long ago, we had been on the brink of separation, in part because of our frustrated efforts at procreation.
1. Learn to self-soothe: It's really a combination of relaxation (some meditation), affirmations, positive self-talk and telling yourself that what you’re PERCEIVING is not necessarily how it is and, even if it is, you can survive it. Believe me, you will believe it after a while. Because the bottom line is: if you want to be okay, you will be.
Police have charged a Pennsylvania man with hiding a remote listening device under his estranged wife's bed that he said he used to avoid overhearing her sex life in the house they still shared.
If there's one thing those of us who have been married for a while know, it's that staying married over the long haul ain't always easy. Thank goodness for couples therapy, right? Or ... not? An article in The New York Times this weekend kind of blew apart the notion I had of couples counseling being the THE ANSWER.
Today we learned that another celebrity marriage is ending; Katy Perry & Russell Brand will be filing for divorce. It's big news because they're young and famous, because the marriage only lasted 14 months and because they always seemed an unlikely couple. But marriages are ending every day among us, especially as the new year begins. As someone who's never been married, it makes me wonder. Do people get so caught up in the whirlwind romance that they don't think about the idea of lifetime commitment? Or do they go into the marriage thinking, "I hope this works, but good thing for 'irreconcilable differences' in California"?
For many people, separating from a life-partner is the single most tragic and painful event of their lives. Recovering from such a blow is rarely an easy or pleasant process. Watching a close friend go through the divorce process presents its own set of problems. You want to help, but it can be extremely difficult to approach your friend—an individual with whom you are accustomed to sharing considerably happier times—in this period of profound anger, sorrow, and/or uncertainty.