While you may know that love usually doesn't come with a guaranteed fairy-tale ending, you probably are still holding out for, or trying to have your marriage live up to, the idea of truly passionate and romantic love. Elizabeth Ford and Daniela Drake, M.D., authors of the new release Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Duped Into the Romantic Dream -- And How They're Paying For It, are here to change your mind, or at least tell you why "happily ever after" hasn't quite happened to them. Read: Marrying "Up" AOL Health: Can you explain the theory that your book is based on -- the idea that women will be better off in the long run if they marry for money?
When you hear the term "breadwinner," you're likely to think "father" or "male." But the New York Times' Modern Love essay this week is penned by a former-female-breadwinner, who later scrapped breadwinning entirely for a more egalitarian - and less romantic - set-up. The author, Karen Karbo, reveled in a whirlwind romance with a Frenchman around whom she never opened her purse once. Then he showed up at her apartment, caught her 'unaware' in unattractive sweatpants, and informed her that he expected her to look pretty for him all the time. Quite rightly, she dumped Monsier Jerkface. In successive relationships, Karbo found herself in the position as breadwinner quite accidentally. The first husband chased his dreams while Karbo held a steady job; the second husband quit his job on a whim and became a househusband, but spent all day playing video games while she kept the family in milk and cookies. When she divorced him, he tried to shake her down for alimony, child support and the house. The third relationship seems to have been the charm: each half of the couple pays his or her own way.
Her relationship was complicated. But after graduating from the Ivy League she thought she had it all figured out. But sometimes even the most independent of women lose their identity when they marry a rich husband. And it's not just the financial inequality but all the free time can cause even the most down-to-earth gal morph into a trophy wife without even knowing it.