Misused anger is one of the biggest reasons for breakups.
Unfortunately, it's easy to let anger contaminate our relationships. When we give in to anger, we lose control in the moment and then feel guilty for the damage it does to our loved ones. So how can we take better control of our emotions?
Improve your conflict resolution skills by learning how to collaborate without resentment and blame.
Welcome back to 7 Secrets To Mastering Communication!
SECRET #6 - COLLABORATE
“The secret is to gang up on the problem, rather than each other.”
~Thomas Stallkamp
Change. Do you thrive on it or relish the status quo?
Whether you feel resentment or compassion is a simple matter of where you look.
Clients try to convince me that resentment naturally builds in relationships over time. They say so as if it’s a given.
It’s not.
George Pransky’s book The Relationship Handbook taught me the one, simple thing that leads to—and away from—resentment.
When you focus on yourself and how their behavior affected you, you feel resentment.
When your partner is away on a business trip and doesn’t call and you make it about you…
In any conflict we are used to fight or flight, but there is another way. Choose to be assertive.
Assertiveness-Getting What You Want
In the world today we are faced with many choices. We are all built with the instinct for fight or flight when faced with confrontation. But there is a third way--it is to speak up with an assertative voice about what we really want and need in life.
Are you struggling to move on from a difficult divorce? YourTango Expert Jerald Young can help.
The issues that prevent a rapid adjustment to life after divorce are emotion-based and, as such, cannot be solved logically. All we can do is dissolve the disruptive energy they cause. For example, you got divorced and it's painful. You cannot "solve" the problem of divorce because, regardless of what you do, you are still divorced. The pain is the problem.
Forgiveness is for you as well as the relationship - find sources in your spirituality to help do it
When you have become emotionally close to another person, you have become more vulnerable. This vulnerability opens the doors for that person to do things that really hurt, which often comes out when conflicts arise. At the same time, you can develop higher expectations about what the other person does and how they should act towards you. This also can lead to unfulfilled expectations which could result in resentment or even anger, even without the other person knowing that they have done something to hurt you.
If you have been dumped personally or professionally, your self-esteem starts to fall. Boost it up.
WOW! That really hurts. When you have great expectations of a long term relationship and lasting love, you feel good about yourself and confident in the future. Then you get the dreaded Dear John/Jane letter or the pink slip at work and immediately go from the heights of excitement to the depths of disappointment. Being dumped can change your life and confidence in an instant.
Resentment is normal. You just have to learn to work it out and work through it.
How to turn your attitude around in the most common mood-disrupting situations
I have before about emotional hygiene and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your mood, too, and give yourself an attitude adjustment whenever you want to?
"Baseball is a popular way to escape reality," says Richard Drobnick, LCSW, DCSW of Mars & Venus Counseling Center, Bergen County, with offices in Ramsey, Oradell, and Teaneck, New Jersey. Richard Drobnick's counseling center ractices the philosophy of Dr.John Gray, best-selling author of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” www.marsvenusnewjersey.com “It’s great to focus on problems that seem bigger than your own.
When someone hurts you or offends you in some way, do you have a hard time letting it go? Do you hold grudges against these people for a long time, even though you'd just like to move on? How Do I Avoid Making The Same Mistakes In New Relationships?
In this video, Therapist, Author and YourTango Expert Dr. Bonnie Weil helps a reader who has the tendency of holding such grudges against anyone who has ever hurt her. She says it affects everything she does and she doesn't want it to ruin her new relationship.