Just can't say no this holiday season? Our personal development coach explains how setting some personal boundaries can help you AND your friends and family de-stress during the busiest time of year.
Forgiveness is a delicate thing. Can you forgive without forgetting? Is there a difference between reconciliation and forgiveness? Our expert, your personal development coach, explains the ins and outs of accepting "I'm sorry".
Unfortunately, it's easy to let anger contaminate our relationships. When we give in to anger, we lose control in the moment and then feel guilty for the damage it does to our loved ones. So how can we take better control of our emotions?
Welcome back to 7 Secrets To Mastering Communication! SECRET #6 - COLLABORATE “The secret is to gang up on the problem, rather than each other.” ~Thomas Stallkamp Change. Do you thrive on it or relish the status quo?
Clients try to convince me that resentment naturally builds in relationships over time. They say so as if it’s a given. It’s not. George Pransky’s book The Relationship Handbook taught me the one, simple thing that leads to—and away from—resentment. When you focus on yourself and how their behavior affected you, you feel resentment. When your partner is away on a business trip and doesn’t call and you make it about you…
Assertiveness-Getting What You Want In the world today we are faced with many choices. We are all built with the instinct for fight or flight when faced with confrontation. But there is a third way--it is to speak up with an assertative voice about what we really want and need in life.
The issues that prevent a rapid adjustment to life after divorce are emotion-based and, as such, cannot be solved logically. All we can do is dissolve the disruptive energy they cause. For example, you got divorced and it's painful. You cannot "solve" the problem of divorce because, regardless of what you do, you are still divorced. The pain is the problem.
When you have become emotionally close to another person, you have become more vulnerable. This vulnerability opens the doors for that person to do things that really hurt, which often comes out when conflicts arise. At the same time, you can develop higher expectations about what the other person does and how they should act towards you. This also can lead to unfulfilled expectations which could result in resentment or even anger, even without the other person knowing that they have done something to hurt you.
WOW! That really hurts. When you have great expectations of a long term relationship and lasting love, you feel good about yourself and confident in the future. Then you get the dreaded Dear John/Jane letter or the pink slip at work and immediately go from the heights of excitement to the depths of disappointment. Being dumped can change your life and confidence in an instant.
I have before about emotional hygiene and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your mood, too, and give yourself an attitude adjustment whenever you want to?
"Baseball is a popular way to escape reality," says Richard Drobnick, LCSW, DCSW of Mars & Venus Counseling Center, Bergen County, with offices in Ramsey, Oradell, and Teaneck, New Jersey. Richard Drobnick's counseling center ractices the philosophy of Dr.John Gray, best-selling author of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” www.marsvenusnewjersey.com “It’s great to focus on problems that seem bigger than your own.
When someone hurts you or offends you in some way, do you have a hard time letting it go? Do you hold grudges against these people for a long time, even though you'd just like to move on? How Do I Avoid Making The Same Mistakes In New Relationships? In this video, Therapist, Author and YourTango Expert Dr. Bonnie Weil helps a reader who has the tendency of holding such grudges against anyone who has ever hurt her. She says it affects everything she does and she doesn't want it to ruin her new relationship.
I had been working with a couple on the concept of making amends and offering one another sincere apologies for ways in which they have hurt one another. He stated truthfully that he was not ready to offer an apology that was genuine because he still was not getting what he wanted and needed in this marriage. After further discussion, both people were able to see they have some deep roots of resentment and bitterness towards one another that they were not willing and able to release yet.
Whether they are married or in long-term relationships, women clients often tell me how full of dread and frustration they are when it comes to sex with their partners. Resentment has accumulated over years, and the frustration comes from trying so hard for so long to have great sex to no avail. They want better sex ... amazing sex, but their minds are full of negativity. The dread comes from not wanting to have to face the disappointment again, so sex becomes less and less frequent. They just have sex for their partner's sake ... to keep the peace and make sure he is happy at least once a month. There is no joy in sex for these women.