A recent study proved that too much texting back and forth (especially to hash out problems) can cause a disconnect in even the most committed couples. YourTango expert Julie Spira reveals the texts to send — and never send to our partners.
RELATIONSHIPS AND TECHNOLOGY
We seem to have lost patience with everything. We don't read books like we used to. We channel surf. We move on if a web page takes more than five seconds to download. A major problem we face as a society is that relationships — the bedrock of our society — are being treated with the same impatience as everything else.
Some people "get lost in a fantasy world of digital relationships thatproduce real emotions but no real boyfriends," says Dr. Wendy Walsh, author of The 30-Day Love Detox. Sound familiar? Join us on Facebook on 6/10 and find out how you can use email, texting, social media and even your online dating profiles to find the love you want.
I recently read an article by Nick Bilton in the New York Times http://nyti.ms/Y7Qk7R entitled “The Child, the Tablet and the Developing Mind.” He writes on technology and the “Bits” blog for the Times. I was particularly struck by his response to a question his sister asked. She was talking about how she lets her children use iPads at the dinner table when she doesn’t want to.
Compare what you can do today with a phone, computer or another electronic device with what was possible 5 years ago and you'll be amazed! From opposite ends of your city (or even further), you can coordinate with your partner about who will pick up the dry cleaning or where you want to go for dinner. The two of you can share about amusing or thought-provoking events from your day immediately after they happen. Communication has been made so easy....and so difficult.
Communication is supposed to be helped by technology, right? We're available 24/7 now, through cell phones, texting, Facebook, Twitter, email, etc. We may be communicating, but are we relating? Is a Facebook friend really a friend? Is the first time you tell the person you're dating that you love them in a text? I know couples who have fights because one wasn't effusive enough about the other on Facebook.
She tried to fix it herself. Honest. This is another “without fail” story. And if you’re a woman who speaks that binary computer mumbo dot jumbo, spare me. Go fix a good pot roast or something; then we’ll talk. I am not a stupid woman. Even though I have trouble with the times table for seven, I am not diminished; I’ve never had to use 7 x 8 in real life, anyway. Hear me roar.
I am not a stickler for rules, but there are a couple things I don't budge on when coaching clients toward substantial relationships: no sex till you get the commitment and no Facebook. It utterly wrecks the discovery process of dating, and, like most things on the Internet, can be filled with so many mistruths.
In a recent webinar, the guest speaker asked us to think about the clients we'd had over a period of time. Which were the best and most fun, the ones that paid well and quickly, and the ones that bothered us to the point that we'd cringe when the phone rang. When you take a step back and think about this, it's amazing the realizations you'll have. Here's some of what I've discovered: My best clients have... a sense of style and taste.
Question from Kirsten B.: My boyfriend always logs into my Gmail account to get access to YouTube, but lately, he’s been asking for my Facebook and Twitter passwords too. I’m just not comfortable letting him have access to those accounts. Am I being too untrusting? Answers from Our Love Experts:
Remember the days when cheating had a very simple definition? "Thou shall not commit adultery or covet thy neighbors..." was pretty straightforward. If you kissed, touched, connected emotionally or had sex with anyone other than your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife, it was considered cheating and it was wrong. Enter the age of the internet, smart phones and social networking. The definition of cheating has become a little more complicated.
I was surfing the Internet one day and found an interesting article. Over one thousand people on gazelle.com took a survey about how technology is affecting people's everyday lives and most importantly the impact of iPhones could have on their sex lives.
By Jenny Tiegs for GalTime Ah, the kids are in bed, the work day is turned off with a switch of the laptop and you are ready to turn on the romance with your partner. The lights are dimmed, candles are lit with Marvin Gaye softly playing in the background...and, if you're like a lot of other moms, you've got your phone out and ready for some major action!!
Jezebel posted an article about a man they deemed "creepy" for organizing his Match.com dates into a spreadsheet. The spreadsheet is detailed, tracking dates, emails and first impressions. However, I don't think it's fair to call this extremely well-organized guy "creepy" or any of the other names that commenters have labeled him.