to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

woman yawning in bed
Is that really the first thing on her mind in the morning?

Relationship Fail: Good Mornin' World, My Boyfriend Loves Me!

If you're going to share a personal text with the world, make sure it's somewhat unique, okay?

It's perfectly normal for a guy to text his girlfriend with "good morning" to get her in a good mood for the day. Going through the hassle of taking a screenshot of this ordinary text and uploading it to a social media platform for the world to see, however, is not normal.

sunshine emoticons
An example of what text messages look like between this couple

Relationship Fail: You Are My Cute, Little, Adorkable Sunshine

There are enough emoticons here to make a unicorn sick.

If your friends on Facebook and Twitter keep asking how old you are, you may want to reconsider your use of emoticons, winkies, smiley faces and beating heart icons in your updates. The days of Lisa Frank cuteness are over, toots. It's time to grow up and accept the boring lines and excel spreadsheets of adulthood.

lottery ticket
There's no ticket for this game!

Relationship Fail: Win The Lotto ... And The Prize Is Me!

The odds of this lottery are definitely in your favor. But, do you WANT to win?

We bought our first lottery ticket a few months ago when the jackpot was close to $315 million. We won two dollars. It was disappointing, as the lottery usually is – you start to fantasize about what you would do with that much money, but in the back of your head you know your chances are impossibly slim. Not so with this lottery!

departure sign airport
Are you, ahem, coming or going?

Relationship Fail: Let's Have Frequent Flyer Sex At The Airport

What traveler can resist this perk? Um... we can, and very easily.

Airports are awful these days. They're crowded with people who aren't sure where they need to go and don't understand that you need to take your shoes off while going through security. And don't even get us started on the creepy pat-downs from complete strangers who get to do so because they're wearing uniforms...

mud cowboy boots
Prepare to get dirty!

Relationship Fail: Get Ready For Our Date In The Mud!

This Southern boy certainly knows the way into his girlfriend's cliché heart.

Now, we know things go down differently in the South than they do where we're based in NYC. There are plenty more cowboy boots, country boys and Kenny Chesney songs, which is all "fine and dandy" in our book. But, for a gal who's not from around those parts, a date proposal that involves large quantities of mud does not sound like a fun, romantic way to spend a Friday night.

man with question mark
"Hmm, this is a tough one."

Relationship Fail: Are You Hotter Than My Wife?

Take this quiz to find out, and then I may or may not cheat on her with you.

Gone are the days when you had to take pop quizzes and standardized tests, and you couldn't be happier. The last time you remember using a pencil to fill in a little circle on paper was when you asserted that yes, you are over 18 and (unlike the tanning mom's daughter) old enough to use a tanning bed.

sad pouty girl
The pouty face isn't working, toots

Relationship Fail: It's Been Two Hours – I Miss You SO Much

They go to the same school, but the nanoseconds this couple spends apart feel like torture.

Long-distance relationships are arguably the hardest – the days and months a couple spends apart can really take a toll on their connection, trust and dedication. It's a tough situation.

woman's cleavage
"Is that too much to ask?"

Relationship Fail: Can I Play With Your Boobs?

Women in San Diego are going to be hard-pressed to find a reason to turn this guy down!

San Diego reminds us of California sun, sand and surf. From now on, it will also remind us of weed and boobs.

Man smooching face
Pucker up, baby!

Relationship Fail: You Are So Beautiful To Me, Can't You All See?

He just can't help but gush... and she can't help posting it on Facebook!

Remember that day your significant other sent you a really sweet text message for no reason, and it filled your heart with warm, fluttery butterflies? Remember having the desire to share it with someone else, just to say, "Aww, look how much he loves me?"

teddy bear in bed
We can snuggle wuggle all night long...

Relationship Fail: Won't You Be My Teddy Bear?

Let's face it: you're not looking for a man. You're looking for a soft, plush inanimate object!

Question: What's cute, cuddly and a little round in the middle? Answer: A teddy bear. Also, your future boyfriend... if that's what you're looking for!

sloth in tree
Precisely.

Relationship Fail: You And I Are Like Two Sloths

That's one way to describe your marriage...

We know the popular sayings to describe two people who are meant to be together: "Oh, Tim and Sally? They're like two peas in a pod, birds of a feather, a match made in heaven..." But, we didn't know "sloths eating a string bean" was one of them!