The One, Most Important Thing to Know About Relationships

The one discovery that changed my entire perspective on relationships for myself and my clients!

I've been curious about people and relationships for as long as I can remember. I've asked many questions, probably annoyed many with them all. My nickname in High School was WHY! That should give you some idea. What makes people come together? What makes some stick and others part? Why did the very thing that drove my mother crazy about my father make my step-mother chuckle? Relationships once seemed to be so tricky to me. No surprise that I wound up in a graduate program studying relationship counseling! We teach what we need/want to learn most!

The No Drama Break Up [EXPERT]

Breaking up doesn't have to be devastating, depressing or hateful when you remember the love.

When you understand that everyone is doing the very best they can to get the things you want, then there is no need for a drama-filled break up. Why do people break up? Sometimes it’s because of a revelation and sometimes it’s slow building.

5 Helpful Hints For Getting Over Your Ex [EXPERT]

5 things you must do to move forward with your life & leave your past behind.

Ending a relationship is heartbreaking. Whether it's a mutual decision or one-sided, navigating life without your partner, especially if you've been together for years, can be very difficult. You will most likely find yourself thinking of him, wishing things could be different, wondering if you made the right decision or hoping that he will call. Here are 5 ways to navigate your life without him.

Stop Falling Into That Old Pattern [Expert]

Be patient with yourself while learning new ways to live.

I've often given the following poem to clients who are struggling with changing their lives and are down on themselves for not being able to change faster. It is intended to give us hope so we can continue our journey. When we are in our own personal “hole” it is so difficult to see our way. Most of us tend to beat ourselves up which only digs our own hole even deeper. So here's my summer gift to all of my readers. Please enjoy!

Is Past Dating Experience Relevant? [EXPERT]

Is Past Dating Experience Relevant?

QUESTION I've been dating a guy for a couple of months. I wonder if learning about his dating past is the best way to get a sense of his mindset at this early stage in our relationship. Should we discuss it? ANSWER When it comes to relationships, what is more relevant than the dating past of your partner is whether he is meeting your expectations for the stage of relationship you are currently in. Are you happy with (1) The way you feel when the two of you are together

Oh No! Why Is Another Relationship On The Rocks? [EXPERT]

Do you wonder why you can’t seem to make a relationship work? Discover the possible cause now!

I often had this question in my dating years. I had no problems meeting men, but nothing seemed to last. Of course, at the time I thought it was because I was picking the wrong guy, but over the years I’ve discovered that it was mostly my own baggage that I carried from relationship to relationship. What Baggage are you Carrying Around?

stuck together — Free yourself from the trappings of an old relationship.

10 Hidden Ways An Ex Stays Embedded In Our Lives [EXPERT]

An expert list of the subtle ways we stay intertwined with an ex.

It's official. It's over. Actually it's been over for quite some time now. Then why are you still stuck with your ex? You may think you're doing your best to move on, but somehow you just can't shimmy away from him/her. Truth be told even if you aren't in physical contact you may be fooling yourself with lots of sneaky subtle behaviors that keep you connected and prevent you from meeting someone new!

Should I End This Relationship? [EXPERT]

Most unhappy couples think they know what the problem is, but rarely do they see the REAL problem.

In the many years I've been counseling, thousands of couples have come to me wondering if they should end their relationship. Most of these people were in love at one point but are now miserable with each other, or one partner is miserable with the other. Generally, they don't know what the real problem is. They know what they don't like about the other person. They know they can't communicate about what is important to them.

walking away — What do you do when the spark loses fire?

Ending Relationships Gracefully [EXPERT]

Is the fear of hurting someone keeping you from ending your relationship?

"How do I end a relationship without hurting someone's feelings?" Whether it's a romantic relationship or a friendship, ending it gracefully is generally a challenge.

What To Do When Your Partner Wants To End Your Relationship...

Feeling spurned? Points on discerning when it is best for both parties to let the relationship go...

"If someone can walk away from you, let them walk." The bulk of us have heard this statement before, and it is almost always in reference to the disintegration and subsequent break up of a relationship. You are generally told this when the relationship is ending by the choice and decision of someone other than yourself. Hearing that if someone can walk away from you that you should let them is not much comfort when it is the person that you love who is choosing to do the walking.

Too Easy To Leave

Are you thinking about leaving your relationship? Read this first!

Katheryn and Mathew, both in their 50’s, have been together for two years. Both have been previously married and divorced. When they met, they fell madly in love, which lasted for a few months. Then the conflicts started. Both Katheryn and Mathew left their marriages because they were with partners who were completely unwilling to open to learning in conflict. They both wanted to find a partner who would learn and grow with them.