If you grew up in a verbally and/or emotionally abusive family, you might not realize when you are being abusive and when you are being abused. Behind verbal and emotional abuse is always a desire to control the other person — to have power over the other's feelings and actions.
We all know that dating over 40 can be a bit of a jungle with challenges, surprises and pitfalls. I'm sure you've encountered your share of "pingers" — the disappearing men, needy men and players as you meet single men. I get it, and you belong to a large, loving sisterhood. But it's not only us gals who have dating disasters ... Men have their fair share of icky, confusing, ego-crushing experiences too. Previously, I've introduced you to The Princess and The 18 Year Old but today, you'll learn about the Scaredy Cat. Deep down, the Scaredy Cat feels unworthy and afraid to receive love and attention, especially from potential romantic partners. She has been wounded by past relationships and hasn't been able to move on emotionally. While she carries these wounds below the surface and aren't there for all to see, given the proper trigger (like a man not calling exactly when he says he will), her fear can take center stage at a moment's notice.
This week I spoke with my client, “Sue,” who recently entered the online dating world. Right off the bat she had scoped out a profile she really liked and emailed him. He seemed interested, attentive and pretty fabulous on paper. The next thing you know…she has a date!
Let's begin with a personal story. I'm in the healthiest relationship of my life, with the most amazing guy who treats me like gold. I love everything about him, but it hasn't always been like this. I, ever so sweetly of course, love to remind him of our first online date, when we'd had such a wonderful time and connected on so many levels, and he promised he'd call...said he couldn't wait to see me again, yada yada.
This is one skill I want you to master: Rejecting online rejection. Learning to accept rejection gracefully, with as few “dings” to your self-esteem as possible, is key to finding your true love. As a dating coach, I’ve found the #1 reason you won’t have success online is giving up too soon. What you perceive as online rejection can exhaust you mentally and the positive attitude you started out with will quickly dwindle. Here are 4 things to know to help you move forward in the online dating world with your self-esteem intact!
Aidan decided to consult with me because he wanted to get married and have a family. A handsome man in his mid-30s, it was certainly not obvious at first glance why he could not find a partner. However, it didn't take me long to understand why relationships were not working for Aidan. Being with Aidan felt like being alone. He was so not present as to practically be invisible. "Aidan," I asked, "What are you feeling right now?"
A few months ago I introduced readers to the Seven Dwarves of Smallness. Others call them your demons, but I think that gives them too much power. The Seven Dwarves are the gatekeepers to your soul. They are there to protect who you really are. I'm here to stick up for them, because the truth is, they have a very important job. They were put in place to keep your greatest gifts safe from harm.
Your partner doesn't have to walk out on you or file for divorce for you to feel rejected. He might close down and refuse to talk when something is obviously bothering him. She may consistently turn down your invitations to have sex or be physically intimate with her. He could confide in a close friend-- maybe even a friend of the opposite sex-- things that he doesn't tell you about. She might refuse your help and advice, even when you have experience or expertise that could really be of benefit to her.
Picture this: First date. You sense some amazing chemistry. The conversation never stops; plenty of laughter. At the end of the wonderful evening, he kisses you goodnight—twice. Obviously you're heading into date two territory, right? Not so much.
So, you met a guy. He seems fantastic. He says all the right words, does all the right things, and you decide to sleep with him a little more quickly than normal because you feel oh-so comfortable around him. Then guess what happens? He stops calling you.
The Psychology of Rejection James E. Barrick, Ph.D.© 2010 Being single, or unattached from an ongoing relationship, can be both a bane or a blessing. It really depends on how you look at it. For example, having to depend on yourself can be a positive experience, a negative experience, or both. Being single by choice creates a different world than becoming single by chance.
No one likes being rejected. But how on earth can you date successfully if rejection happens to be one of your biggest fears? Confidence: A Parachute For Rejection In this video, Relationship Coaches and YourTango experts, Orna and Matthew Walters help you face what scares you head-on. To start, you need to understand why you're afraid of being shut down in the first place. Follow these experts' advice, and you'll be putting yourself out there more than ever before!
"He's not here for me," complained Hailey. "We don't spend enough time together." "She's too needy. I need space," complained her husband, Ryan. "He just does whatever he wants to do, with no concern for me," countered Hailey. "She's so demanding that I just don't feel like being with her lot. I wish she'd just back off. I need time with my friends."
I had lunch a few weeks ago with a dear friend of mine, a multi-talented man of about 60 who has had life experiences that would have half of us green with envy and the other half wondering how he made it through alive. He had been having a mad, wild, wonderful love affair with a friend of mine for about 6 months, that recently ended. Their age difference of about 20 years was too much for her, and even though they were both having the time of their lives, she decided not to continue it.
There are some people who LOVE to date. They enjoy meeting new people and soak up the attention from the opposite sex. These singles are constantly on dating sites looking for their next fling or trolling the bars for the next Mr. or Ms. Right Now. Most of you probably don’t fall into that category. Whether you have been on the dating circuit for a while or have refused to participate at all, if you hate to date you may need to open your eyes to a new way of looking at this necessary exercise on the path to true love.
The Bachelor episode five starts off with a twist. The 11 remaining girls say see ya to the mansion in LA and head to Las Vegas. Land of sin and sand, Brad wastes no time wooing his women. He checks them into a fancy schmancy hotel suite and shells out the first date card to Shawntel N.