By Child/Adolescent Therapist, Signe Whitson, to GalTime.com How many times have you heard your daughter singing along to a popular song on the radio and innocently belting out the kind of lyrics that would otherwise get her sent to her room? In the moment, you believe (desperately want to believe!) that she is unaware of the innuendo and unaffected by its explicit content.
Kids have come to rely heavily on parents and teachers to do their thinking for them. They have become unwilling, or unable, to go beyond rote learning. In the classroom, lesson plans and curriculum are now strongly influenced by 'essential questions'. These questions engage students in evaluating, analyzing and applying knowledge to better understand, and function in, their world. They encourage students to think critically, instead of simply looking up facts.
Initially, they were quick to defend their comment because there was nothing intentionally harmful or hurtful about it. They were "just kidding" and "fooling around." Everyone knew they were joking, and it wasn't intended to do harm to anyone. That was when I saw my teachable moment.
Do you find yourself fighting the urge to say to your teen, "Been there, done that. Let me show you how it's done"? I do, too... although looking back to my younger days, I can honestly say that I learned the most when I had to solve things myself. (On a personal note, my children were amazed to hear that when I studied abroad during my junior year of college, I was only able to call home three times. There were no cell phones, no computers or email, and it cost $40 for a 20-minute phone call, which I had to make from the post office.
Whatever. Fine. I don't know. Do those phrases just push every button you've got? It used to make me crazy when my (now 27-year old) son answered 'cool' to everything, including incredibly sad news. It took forever for me to understand that 'cool' just meant 'I heard what you said.'
As a parent of a teen or tween, what could be better than more moments when your child wants to be close enough for a hug and to sit and talk to you? You’ve been told to expect the eye-rolling and attitude and pulling away when they hit the teen years. Yes, it’s normal for this to happen; however, it doesn’t mean it has to be this way, and that you have to suffer through it.
As a therapist who sees teenagers, I get this questioned posed to me often…Stacy, I don’t want my child to drop out of school, but they refuse to go and I don’t know what to do. What should I do? I often approach this topic from “what is your child communicating to the rest of us that we aren’t hearing?”
©JudyHWright http://www.judyhwright.com We all have weaknesses that are hard to accept. Parents, teachers and caring adults see areas that need improvement in children and want to help them build confidence. The trick is to build confidence and acceptance without criticism and breaking the spirit. As I have mentioned in previous articles and books, “Soar with Your Strengths.”
Recently, a group of about 13 children at a high school in Dallas Fort Worth Texas were arrested in a sexting scandal. The officers involved said that in Texas, teenagers are charged with a misdemeanor for sexting. It is a much more serious issue in other states that can result in the youth being charged with a felony crime. Kids are then labeled sex offenders for an impulsive act that is common in many schools.
By Barbara Greenberg, PhD, Teen Parenting Expert Yep, we all do it. So let's have a little fun looking at our "parent fails"- those moments of parenting gone awry where we had the best of intentions but no guide to tell us exactly what to do. Those "oh no, did I just do that or say that? moments are inevitable if you are a parent who is deeply immersed in the parenting game. And, during this game wrong and awkward moves are bound to happen, REPEATEDLY.
Have equal rights for women literally destroyed the balance in modern day relationships? What is the difference between present day society and from our society 40 years ago? Why are there so many divorces, broken homes, and single parents today as opposed to yesterday? What is the one variable in a relationship that has changed from that period until now? Women.
I saw an article on Huffington Post this morning that made me cringe. I was so stunned, I had to write a post immediately. According to to one NYU Child Study Center study 59 percent of girls in 5th through 12th grade are "dissatisfied with their physical appearance." Research also shows that little girls' self esteem peaks at, are you ready for this, age 8. Further, a girl’s self esteem “PLUMMETS” after age 9. Yikes.
Still, like my friend, mid-life parents of teens can sometimes feel disadvantaged. They describe feeling isolated from other parents. They may lack the stamina and energy that they had when their older children were teens. Others feel out of touch with aspects of teen culture. And, maybe if they had more energy they would be more motivated to listen to the trending teen music, watch some of the teen reality shows.