Mars Venus feels you should love and cherish your children. Every child is different and should be treated per their personality in order to obtain positive results. However, there is always those moments when parents should have the confidence to lay down the law in order to gain their child's respect and raise a capable young adult. The key is to find the balance between strict and lenient. If your child is walking all over you, here are some tips for reclaiming your rightful role as head of the household:
Anger is a powerful, strong emotion, so we need powerful, strong strategies to help release that anger. As adults, we need to have our anger strategies figured out before we attempt to figure that out with our own children. Then, we must remember that our children's emotions are their emotions, not ours.
When parents think about discipline, all too often they equate discipline with punishment. Whoa … not so fast! 'What's wrong with punishment?' you may wonder. Well, punishment is costly. It results in kids feeling badly, both about themselves and about you. And is it effective? Not very.
By Barbara Greenberg, PhD, Teen Parenting Expert Yep, we all do it. So let's have a little fun looking at our "parent fails"- those moments of parenting gone awry where we had the best of intentions but no guide to tell us exactly what to do. Those "oh no, did I just do that or say that? moments are inevitable if you are a parent who is deeply immersed in the parenting game. And, during this game wrong and awkward moves are bound to happen, REPEATEDLY.
Have equal rights for women literally destroyed the balance in modern day relationships? What is the difference between present day society and from our society 40 years ago? Why are there so many divorces, broken homes, and single parents today as opposed to yesterday? What is the one variable in a relationship that has changed from that period until now? Women.
You know how to speak with your kid – you talk all the time about school homework, soccer games, and their favorite spaghetti dinner. But how come when your son or daughter comes home from school looking sad, you become speechless? Your eyes open up big and you take a few deep breaths wondering: What in the world do I do now?
My husband and I seem to parent our children differently based on their genders, a tendency I never expected, being the enlightened and empowered woman I am. (“Roar” and all that.) Once we had both a boy and a girl, though, this tendency became obvious.
Before I had kids, I was so quick to judge. When I would see a child running around the front yard wearing nothing but a diaper in the middle of May, I would scowl. Toy guns were trashy and unacceptable and lawns were meant to be lush and pristine. I would never be the one with the dirty kids and cluttered house, I vowed. I'll be the classy one whose child is always properly clad, grass is well manicured, and house is neat and tidy.
Here's what I know for sure about parenting: That after 17 years, I don't know as much as I think I do, as much as I'd like. And, that the mental list I keep of my parenting failures continues to grow. Sometimes daily. Failing occasionally is not an option with parenting, it's a given. I'd guess that any parent without a mental "FAIL!" list is basically delusional. Here's a look at what's on my own parenting FAIL list. As of today, that is.
When I could barely conceive the meaning of motherhood, Frank slipped seamlessly into fatherhood, showing me what was possible. I'm talking about being a father from the first moment, without faking anything. While I needed months to figure out the motherhood thing, Frank got it—instantly. At 12:59 one snowy night, he was an expectant father, and when his son was born at 1:01, Frank stepped unhesitatingly into fatherhood. Seventeen years later, Frank is still fathering by instinct, still pretty terrific. He's just plain good at his job, maybe because he doesn't really think of it as a job.
It took a little more than 17 years, but I finally figured out what is required of me as a parent. A box of pencils.
Over time I started to trust my parental instincts in a way I hadn’t before. And as she grew, I marveled at the toddler she turned into: fiery and independent, sure of herself. She knew more of life than her brothers did at that age: she understood she wouldn’t always come first and things weren't always fair and she dealt. I realized my instinctual parenting had unintentionally taught her something: resilience.
Before I begin, let me preface this piece by saying that I take dog parenting very seriously. I don't just wake up, take the dogs out, make sure they're fed, leave for 10 hours and come back to do it all over again. I actually "parent" my pooches. Parenting these two furballs has been wonderful practice. I believe that, through them, my husband and I have established our roles as a parenting duo.
If we teach our children something right, they will fling it back at us, even when we don't want to hear it at the moment. When this happens, I'm secretly sort of proud. I say to myself, well, at least I've done one thing right. I've taught my sons this. Likewise, when I see my flaws taking root in my sons, I'm filled with guilt. You mean I taught them that?
Not having to win is a pretty good quality when one is part of a couple, especially when that couple has to parent together and, by the way, also wants to stay in love. We've disagreed plenty over the years about child-rearing issues—and still do. Yet we usually manage to be sure that it's the kids who win in the end.