Should our sexual fantasies be morally and politically correct? Excerpted from Best Sex Writing 2009, erotica writer Kristina Lloyd explores her taste for pleasure with a side of discomfort and the judgment that writing graphic sex scenes draws. An intriguing reflection on fantasies and how they define us.
Fine. I got a little tired and went with a link roundup rather than think of a new column, sue me. We'll find out about Axe Body Spray, Bromance's least straight moments, dating faux pas, college-level flirting courses, asking him out, benefits of a down economy, reasons men like being married, seeing a movie on the first date, squeezing in extra sex and a pastor's take on masturbation.
YourTango had a sweet holiday party and here's the recap. Keep in mind that Absolut Pear was prominently involved. As were Christmas presents and Rachel Kramer Bussel.
Some people are non-stop flirts: they flirt with everyone, even people they don't like. In this essay Rachel Kramer Bussel describes flirting for sport, flirting signs, and decides that it's OK to flirt with everyone: "It isn’t always about the flirtee’s reaction, but what the flirter gets out of it."
2006 was a year of unprotected sex for me. No, not every time, but I started off the year with a fling with a slightly older man I was besotted with, who didn’t speak a word about condoms, and, in response, I didn’t either. I wanted to trust that he had some magical knowledge that somehow I was missing, that maybe the world had overturned itself and they were no longer necessary. I was wrong, and after a pregnancy panic as I searched for Plan B—this was right before it was so readily available—I escaped unscathed. Then later that year I met a guy I fell absolutely head over heels with, sure that we were destined to be together.
Right now, I'm in the most serious relationship I've ever been in; as in, even though I live in New York and he lives in San Francisco, we've talked about where and when we could live together—and how soon. He's met my uncle; I've gone to his family's cabin, and I'm joining them for Thanksgiving. His mom sends me emails, and my grandmother sends me clippings urging him to stop smoking. We talk almost every night and end most calls with "I love you." Does this make him the one? Rachel Kramer Bussel explores.
We've already established some people think Palin is hot. (Others are driven wild by her First Dude!) An enterprising Bussel, an erotica writer and former sex columnist for The Village Voice, started the web site, Sarah Palin Erotica, to quench that polar bear-sized thirst.
Recycled sex, Essex girls do it without condoms, some dudes don't like oral, a mother's weight gain translates to bigger babies, both presidential candidates aren't down with gay marriage, Mad Men teaches people how to date like a man, an Indian man wants an annulment on grounds of his wife's acne, Suze Orman wants you to have separate accounts, and wedding gowns for women in the military.
There are some issues the pill. Some of these issues may affect good and honest citizens such as yourself. Evidently, it's a good idea to know all the facts before doing it bareback.
I kept going, and my stomach dropped as I realized that "massage" was simply Internet parlance for sex. All the time we’d been together, when he’d refused to use condoms—until I finally went on the Pill—he'd been hiring, or trying to hire, hookers. I could tell at least one of his attempts had been successful; a woman emailed back to say that he'd left a piece of jewelry behind with her. Another response, from an escort site which I promptly visited, made the imagery all too real.
