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Will not having a relationship help or harm?

Published on August 22, 2012 by simpli_marjulia

I'm associating myself with this man who doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. I want to be in a relationship with him but he feels we arent ready for one. We've been spending time together everyday but he just turned the other cheek on me. I expressed myself to him in every way possible and ive been there for him through hell and back and I dont understand why he doesnt want to be with me. He says we should just take our time with each other before we get into a relationship with each other but its like were in a relationship already. I feel that I deserve a relationship, but he disagrees.I just feel so unappreciated and he makes me feel like I just make his life so bad. 9 months with each other. Is it that he doesnt want a relationship with me because of me or because of someone else?

ANSWERS

It sounds like a very painful place to be in. We encourage you to focus on yourself and what you want AND deserve. If he has made it clear that he isn't ready for a relationship, then your choice is how long you are willing to wait for the commitment you want.

If you're tired of waiting, then consider being honest with him and making a decision about whether to stay in or leave the relationship. This isn't about ultimatums, it's about you finding a match for what you want in a partner and relationship.

Best Wishes, Susie and Otto

Instead of agonizing over why he does not want a relationship, focus on what would make you happiest. Are you satisfied with the current state of affairs? Could you continue to be happy if he never wants to make it official? Are your needs being met? If the answer to any of these questions is "no," it might be wiser to end it. You need to focus on getting what will make you happy out of your relationships. If he is unable or unwilling to provide it, you may be better matched with someone else.

"I feel that I deserve a relationship, but he disagrees. I just feel so unappreciated and he makes me feel like I just make his life so bad."

Based on what you've written, it sounds to me like you are not happy with the situation. You've tried discussing it with him and despite communicating with him in a variety of ways, he doesn't want a relationship. It really doesn't matter WHY he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. He's said he doesn't want to be in a relationship. Period.

You deserve to have the type of relationship that you want. Sounds to me like this guy isn't living up to your expectations or needs and it's time for you to move on and find someone who appreciates you and the joy you bring to his life.

Giving him emotional support when he's not giving you the support you want is not the best situation.

You need to back up from him and keep your options open. Expressing yourself to him will not do much except push him away. I've seen it time and time again.

He has the choice to not want to be with you. So look at what is happening with your situation. You are trying too hard, and he isn't doing anything EXCEPT receiving your support.

You do deserve a relationship, but you deserve a relationship with someone who wants to be in a relationship with you.

You are in a serious exclusive relationship with him, but he IS NOT in a serious exclusive relationship with you.

Please download my free dating ebook at http://dinacolada.com

Feel free to email me. I would love to give you a free consultation. I can help you boost your self esteem!

XOXO Dina dinazcolada@gmail.com

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