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Will he ever commit?

Published on June 20, 2014 by water1208

I recently had an intense conversion via text with a guy that I like. We both like each other, actually. The feelings that we have are quite mutual. Just a few days ago he admitted to me that he loved me. But anyway, I am concerned about whether or not he will ever commit. We have known each other for quite some time. He talks about a future with me (children, marriage, etc.) But he hasn't made me his girlfriend. Now, this guy is not a virgin, but I am. I have made it very clear to him that I will not lay down with him outside the confounds of marriage. Luckily, he accepts my standards and has said that he accepts my uniqueness and values my purity. Now, he has never said "I do not want a relationship with you," actually, when I asked him why he doesn't want one he replied saying, "says who?" He told me that because I am "penis shy" he is afraid that he may hurt me and that his genitals will not fit inside me. Basically, he said that he doesn't want to make me uncomfortable. After processing his response, I couldn't wrap my head around his reason for not proceeding in a relationship with me. I asked him, if he wants to marry me how does he propose to get there without being my boyfriend first? And plus, if we were to date there would be no sex, so his "I don't want to make you uncomfortable" response is stupid. It just seems as though he is punishing me for my decision to be a virgin. I figured that guys value girls who are willing to save themselves for that one special person, rather than sharing before marriage. Don't get me wrong, I am not sorry for my decision to be and remain a virgin, because I know that's what God wants. But I don't understand this guy's response.


"Penis shy"? I am cringing! It is not a flaw that you are choosing to wait to have sex, and that phrase seems to imply the opposite. Of course he will be able to fit inside you, that is not an issue. Our bodies are made to have sex and have babies. Should you give that to him though? I would say no, honestly. If he wants to have a future with you, you're right- that starts with him dating you and becoming your boyfriend. When he talks about marriage and children, but won't give you a straight answer on Any kind of commitment, that is a very bad sign. Don't let this guy lead you on or make you feel pressured to do Anything you don't plan to do. You have a good head on your shoulders with good intentions for your body, and you should NEVER compromise your values, especially in hopes that you will land yourself a boyfriend. Sex will NOT bring and keep him to you. It will not make or fix any relationship. Your decision to remain chaste is going to weed out any false contenders for your heart. If he can't give you a real chance, or pressures or challenges you in any way to be sexual, you know Exactly what kind of guy you are dealing with. Mr. Right is going to be Thrilled you are a virgin, because that is part of who you are and what makes you YOU. Be proud of your choice, the right man will follow :-)

I was surprised by his reason as well. It just seemed really shallow... If he truly meant everything that he has told me in reference to how he feels about me that wouldn't even be a reason. I just have to accept that I live in a world full of young men priding themselves on ruining the lives of young women and stirring the wheel of their emotions. But then again, what can I really expect from a college aged boy? We are both young, in college, and have our whole lives ahead of us. I have just made up my mind earlier in the game that I will not compromise and settle for anything less than what I am worth. Like you said, "the right man WILL follow." Thanks for your advice!

Penis Shy. Interesting response. I believe that he is now thinking too much and he is definitely afraid of emotionally and physically hurting you. The fact that you are a virgin is making him very very nervous. As a psychic, I can channel his deepest thoughts and feelings for you. Just go to and purchase a feelings reading. All the best to you. Pink Chick