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why wont my husband have sex with me?

Published on February 3, 2012 by wconn04

I have been married for over 20 years. All the articles and books I have read are about women not wanting sex not men. My husband has no interest in having sex. I have tried talking to him I have written him letters and explained how I feel, and what I would like. I have tried things to spice up our sex life, lingerie, toys, and movies nothing seems to work. He would rather masterbate than be with me. When we do actually have sex the only thing he will do is give me oral for me to orgasm as quickly as he can get it over with while masterbates. I want more from him. I miss the closeness of being intimate and intercourse. I don't know what else to do. It makes me sad and angry. I'm confused and hurt. It has been like this for a long time.


This is a tough one. Assuming that he is not seeing someone else, maybe he is having a problem with his body. Has something happened to him that may cause that behavior? See if he is willing to go to counseling. I know this isn't an answer, but I hope it helps find the answer!

Sometimes as men get older, they're ability to get hard becomes more difficult. I know that with my ex-husband, he had type 2 diabetes, and the medication made it harder for him to have an erection. He seemed to be able to get a better erection if he masturbated. Maybe your husband is embarassed to admit that he's having a similar problem, if this is the case. Ask him about it, and maybe he can see a urologist. Stress the importance of your sex life happiness, and like the other poster said, see a counselor. If he cares about you, he should be making more effort to please you. Good luck.