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Why won't he talk to me?

Published on June 6, 2011 by jackie ruso

Dear Your Tango,

So it's been awhile since I've talked to this guy who dumped me almost a year ago in September and for some reason he has been on my mind lately and I've been wondering how he has been doing. We weren't serious with each other so I can't call him my ex-boyfriend let alone my boyfriend. I don't think he's mad at me (because I was at him and apologized for not handling my anger appropriately, which wasn't the reason why we broke up but I still had a right to be mad none the less). He accepted my apology the last time we spoke but we haven't spoken much since and everytime I want to talk to him its like pulling teeth. I really don't want anything much from him but just to talk to him and I am over him completely since I have moved on with my dating life like he has because he dumped me for another girl. But anyways, I just sent him a friendly facebook message not too long ago stating hi, how are you doing etc and how's life? etc. I'm kinda curious as to why he hasn't responded to me. Does he hate me? Idk I hope not. But from a guys' perspective, I wonder what's the first few things that run through your head when a girl you once dated starts contacting you after awhile of no talking? Also, I would like to know from someone elses' perspective as to why he might be reluctant to talk to me?



Jacqueline Ruso


Jacqueline, More than anything else guys hate when a girl has exploded in anger on them.I don't know all the details, but you said you had to apologize for your anger. Most times when a guy has moved on and you contact him he will think you are trying to get him back.The reason you may feel pulled towards him is you may not have closure. Many times when someone dumps us we are not the one making the decision so we feel more hurt and confusion and withdrawl chemicals fill our brains creating a need to see or talk to that person. be strong move on. respect his decision. It is healthier for the both of you to part ways and heal.

He hasn't responded to you because he is not interested in talking with you. Even if it hurts your feelings, respect the fact that you had a chance and it didn't work out. I'm sure he doesn't hate you. He has just moved on. Let the past be the past and move on in your life. I have had exes contact me via the social networking, and I don't respond. I simply block them. A bit extreme, maybe, but there a reason we aren't together. If I run into one at the grocery store, a simple hi how are you, look great well, see you is about all I give. It makes life so much less complicated. :)

It sounds like "he is just not that in to you." hes obviously not someone worth going out of your way and making an effort to communicate with. I dont think you should have sent him the message in the first place.

You have to move on. I figure the reason he isn't responding is because he feels he is being chased and guys HATE that! He has obviously made it clear that things are over between the two of you,so as hard as I know it is(because I've been dumped),you must accept it and go forward. Trust me,you will meet someone much better for you when the time is right,so hang in there! Best of luck and you're in my prayers! God Bless! :)