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why wont he commit, am I wasting my time.

Published on November 5, 2012 by confused 1

I have a male friend we have been friends for many years and have been hanging out for the past two years and the last four months we have gotten a lot closer, He wants to take me to his home town for a get away weekend. I wanted to know where I stand with him and told him how I felt he danced around the question and then said he likes me and doesn't want me to back off, just see how it goes, there a couple of guys he thinks are still hanging around one of which is a mutual friend that we both don't talk to much anymore. He did say it's up to me if I want to see other people and asked if I had been with anyone since we had gotten closer. Am I wasting my time, will he commit later on, do I stick around ??? Please help!!


After having sex with someone after 4 mths., if they tell you they don't mind if you see other people, then he doesn't care about and is simply not that into you. You are a FWB. I wouldn't stay one more second in that relationship. He's getting what he wants, and you're not. You want a man who is crazy about you and wants you exclusively to himself. It's up to you to make it happen. Your future bf won't accept you being friends with a man you had sex with, so you need to end your "friendship," as difficult as it will be. You will thank yourself later, when you meet a man who makes you his priority. If the single guys around your area are hard to come by, try Join a bowling league. Take dance lessons. Think outside the box. Never wait around for someone who feels mediocre about you. You are the prize, and the right man will see that. Good luck.

Dear friend, seems to me this offer is like a friends with benefits! You have to ask your self do you want to be with him on his or your terms... Only you can give yourself an answer. If person is really serious about you he will not hesitate to get closer and date you. Think it clearly about what do you want, and what is your boundaries in a relationship. Good luck, AstroCoach

You can't know whether or not he'll commit later on, what you DO know is what he is telling you now. If he's unwilling to make the kind of commitment you want right now (or to take sincere steps toward that kind of commitment), then it's up to you to decide if you can be happy with the kind relationship you two have now.

Be upfront with him about what you want and see what he's open to.

Best Wishes, Susie and Otto