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Why the drop in pleasure?

Published on May 2, 2014 by orangeblossum27

I am a 27 year old woman who just wants to know: is it normal to loose your ability to cum as you get older or did something go wrong? I am with a great guy who is very handsome and sweet but I just don't get turned on while we are in the middle of sex. I used to only a year and a half ago be able to cum with intercourse and now I have to "help" myself along to be able to get off. I try not to press the issue with him because he just gets upset and feels inadequate. So why is this happening? Have I had too many previous partners? Is this what sex will be like for the rest of my life?

ANSWERS

It's not uncommon to experience decreased pleasure or ability to reach orgasm. First, the easy thing to check out is your medical health - see your gyno to rule out hormonal imbalances (yes, they can happen at your age), STDs, or other medical issues that may be affecting you "down there." If you're in the clear there, the most likely issue is psychological. Are you feeling uncertain about the relationship, or your partner? Do you have conflicts about your sexuality and sexual behaviors? Do you feel guilty or ashamed about your sex life in some way? All of these things can work as mental blocks to prevent you from reaching orgasm. The good news is that you can work through the mental issues by consulting with a therapist who works with sexual issues, using DIY workbooks and home exercises, and by discussing it openly with your partner. With a little detective work and focus, I believe you can restore your ability to reach orgasm, and fully enjoy a normal sex life again.

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