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Why so i still love a man that beats me...

Published on September 22, 2009 by hurt

I have been with my boyfriend for 5years and in that time he has cheated on me several times, beat me up to the point i have had to go to the hospital, he said it was all my fault because i knew he was stressed out and i deserved it.. not to long ago he shot me while he was on drugs, i catch him in lies all the time, i wake up in the middle of the night only to find him gone.. we have a newborn child togethor i want to leave him but my feet just cant seem to move.im not happy but i love him. He didnt use to be this way he was the sweetest man id ever met he was my bestfriend..... i just cant seem to make him happy no matter how hard i try im just not good enough, im the only one who works and have been the only one for years now.. I feel so lost at times without him. and when we did break up and i tryed to move on with someone else but he nearly killed the new guy i was dateing when he seen me with him months later { at that time my ex-boyfriend told me that he better not ever see me with another man or they will all end up going to the hospital like my new friend had too} but whats so crazy is my ex-boyfriend had a new girlfriend at the time.......it made me feel loved so i got bac with him...but now i just dont know how to feel anymore i stoped liveing for myself and started liveing for my son and him...after being hurt so much i just dont understand how/why i still love him?

ANSWERS

Your situation is very dangerous, and I've seen just how badly it can end up... Please remember that feelings aren't facts, look at the facts and check out this site: http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/page11.html You are not doing anything wrong to have him treat you like this, this is about him and his own issues with anger and domination.

I agree with Starlee Meeko, you are going to love him because that is all you know. You don't deserve that kind of treatment for any reason at all. You have a brand new baby boy in your life. You and your son should be able to live a happy life without having to worry about someone coming home and making it not only and uncomfortable situation with what seem like anger issues but also a dangerous situation for you and your son. I dont know your full situation, but you need to do whatever you can to get out of this living situation. I wish you the best of luck and if you need someone to talk to this drphylus1 is my name on here and my AIM account

Many times you can love someone like this if you had a rough childhood. If you were beaten or molested, somtimes you associate love with pain. Because your abuse was at the hands of someone who you loved and said they loved you. One thing is for sure, physical abuse is not easily fixed. You risk your life of you try to stay with someone while they try to stop beating you. You may want to consider counseling to find out why you are willing to accept this type of behavior. Know that you didn't cause his problems and you cannot fix them. He needs professional help.

Of course you love him. He's part of your life. He's the father of your child, but he is also dangerous. Moving out has nothing to do with your love for him, rather your love for your child who needs to be protected. No one can tell you to stop loving him. But if you love him and you want what's best for him, what's best is also what's the safest for you and your son.

Of course you still love him. But you need to get you and your child to safety. http://www.yourtango.com/200930241/why-do-victims-domestic-violence-stay

While the people above are completely correct in that you need to get help for yourself, the fact is there is a child involved in this. If you are unwilling to protect yourself, how safe is your child from him? He is willing to break you without any concern so why would he treat his child any better? If you cannot separate yourself from this "man" then you should put the child up for adoption, or take similar measures to prevent the child from being in his control. So long as you are in his control, so is the child. So long as you will not protect yourself, you cannot protect your child. So the best thing for the child's safety is for it to be far away from the both of you.

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