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why is my ex doing this and what should i do about it

Published on December 28, 2013 by levinelover234

After me and my ex broke up, he was the one to initiate contact. I ignored him at first but he kept calling so I ended up answering. He said he wanted to talk in person I agreed and met up with him. I ended up spending the night. When I went back home he started ignoring me and saying that we will not work. I said OK. A couple days later he messages me saying he missed me and breaking up with me was the biggest mistake he's ever made. I asked him what changed and he said he just missed me. We meet up again and I find out that he was talking to some girl who rejected going out with him before he started talking to me again. He said that had nothing to do with his feelings for me. I didn't think anything of it because I also was talking to someone at the time.. I forgave him for that and we started talking again. He continued doing the same thing..tell in me he misses me and thinks about me, then ignores me again. He's currently back to ignoring me after I told him I will start seeing other people if he doesnt make a move soon.


THere is only ever one thing going on with us as human beings - our thinking in the moment. When people are erratic like this is because they have bought into their thinking in the moment. it has nothing to do with you. His reality is separate from yours.

The issue here is what meaning you have given it. If we learn to separate someones elses behavior with how we feel, then we would see that our feelings having nothing to do with what they do - more with our thoughts in the moment. Thoughts and feelings are part of the same coin - and they lead to behavior - i hope that helps.


Sadly your ex just isn't that into you. From your history he knows that he can go back and forth with you, and you will accept it so he will keep doing this. The whole "being rejected by another girl" situation is a red flag. He doesn't want to be alone so he is treating you like a back up. Show him that you aren't anyone's option by cutting things off with him altogether! It's tough but it's the only way for him to take you seriously.

Walk away. It's time to move out of the past and into a future towards someone who respects you and treats you as a priority instead of a backup.

It sounds like you're getting some really mixed messages from your ex. Ask yourself what you want form this situation. Are you hoping to get back together? Are you hoping to reconnect for brief casual encounters? Do you want him to walk out of your life completely? Whatever you want, in order to have trust in a relationship you need consistency and reliability- you have to be able to trust the other person will do what they say they will do. If you want a healthy relationship both of you will need to set clear expectations and stop compromising (which sends mixed signals).