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why does he talk to other woman behind my back, am i not good enough?

Published on May 4, 2010 by stal

Why after a year and a half, does he still talk to other women, asking to meet up with them when he tells me is out with the boys. One of the most frustrating things is that I have confronted him and asked him why he does these things and his answer is either "i don't know" or he will deny it all together. I wonder everyday why I'm not good enough for him, what is wrong with me that he has to go out and continue these relationships with these other woman that I think are inappropriate. I have no problem with guys having female friends, but the ones that he talks to are crossing the line. He acts like he doesnt even have me in his life, and these women know he is in a relationship, but they both continue. He keeps in contact with these people via text messages, and facebook and finds ways to meet up with them at bars so i dont know, (even though most of the time I find out anyway). The one particular woman at the time he has slept with in the past, so he has a connection with her. I dont know if I should leave, because I honestly dont know if I can fully trust him at this point and I dont see the point in having a future with someone you dont trust. Or if I stay, how do i find out why im not good enough, how do i figure out how to make him want me and only me, or is that even possible. I feel insignificant and betrayed, and I know that I dont deserve to feel this way.

ANSWERS

Hi Stal. I understand that you are concerned why your mate "acts" the way he does but what is more important is your mental, physical and emotional health.

Each day that you spend time pondering on your mate and his actions, you are giving up your personal power. You are hurting because you have expections of him and how he should treat you.There is a quote in my book, Real Life, Real Choices that I use: "It is expectation, not love, that hurts. Change is constant."

If you pay attention to people, they will show you who they are, what is important, and where you stand in their life. It appears that your mate has consistently shown you that he will have female friends, talk to them, and continue to do as he pleases with little concern for your feelings.

Take a moment and review your post. You appear to be more concerned with his loving you more than you are of loving yourself.

Take time to love you. You have answered your own questions. You said you can't see yourself being with someone you can't trust. You don't deserve to feel this way.

So my question to you is, "When are you going to start loving you?" People will only do what you allow them to do and you have the power to make a choice that is beneficial for you at any given time of the day. I wish you luck.

Know that you deserve better but the change will only come when you initiate it.

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