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Why does he only text or hangout when he wants too?

Published on February 7, 2010 by dani1985

i just recently started hanging out with this guy for 5months now.. He has a 6 month old daughter and is working two jobs. So i realize he is busy. i do not have any kids but am working two jobs also. we both do not want relationships and i have made it clear to him about it also. well he has too. But we like eachother and enjoy our time together. But he never text me or calls me unless im the one to do it. and its when he wants to text back?? Sometimes he doesnt write me back at all. He is confusing? .. We only stay in at our houses and never really hardly go out at all. I dont know how to read him?


What's to read? You both said don't want a relationship. It sounds to me like although you said you don't want a relationship, you actually do, because you are expecting a relationship from him.

If that's what you need, this guy clearly isn't going to provide it.

Although you are saying that you dont want a relationship.... deep down inside you DO! This man gives you the feeling that it could work one day but you have already stated that a relationship isn't needed so he's treating it like that. He doesn't need to talk to you all the time cause a relationship isn't what he's trying to build. Maybe if yo have a coversation with him about your expectations then maybe his mind will change, but keep in mind that he has gotten comfortable with just being "friends"... this means he doesn't have to "check in"

the situation i am in is almost the same thing except that we are both single no children. we have been seeing each other for the past three months and he only text ocassionally. He told me that he wants a relationship and he his happy and comfortable with me but yet he says he rather to text than call as he gets straigth to the point. I am not comfortable because if you are interesting in someone you will find the time to talk every now and then.

I would also like to know what other viewers think

I'll say this as a guy, and its in agreement with Lyz.

You said you both don't want a relationship, but you are wanting things like a girlfriend in a relationship would. He has been up front with you that he doesn't want a relationship, and you agreed with him on that. Just because you both say you aren't in a relationship doesn't mean you can act like you are in one.

Figure out exactly what you want for yourself. If you really don't want a relationship then let go and accept that he really has no reason to communicate with you on the same frequency that you wish to with him. He has made his position clear, and it will not change over time. Odds are when he is ready for a relationship he'll already be looking elsewhere for it. And, again, odds are it won't be because you did something wrong, just that he doesn't want a relationship with you. I know this sounds cold, but if a man is being upfront and honest with you like this then don't think that you'll win him over if you stick around long enough.

It doesn't work like that with guys. Figure out what you want, set your boundaries, and stand by it.