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why do men look at dirty photos?

Published on November 27, 2010 by lovelydove

Recently I found out that my fiancé was looking at photos of girls naked. We got into a fight about it. I asked him why he wanted to look at them and he started crying and told me that every guy does it and he has been doing it since he was 15 years old. I told him that I didn't like it and he screamed at me and told me to sue him for it. I tried to explain to him why I didn't like it. Then he told me that he doesn't look at the bodies he just wanted to learn the female body so I wouldn't think he doesn't know what he's doing in bed. It really hurt me and I told him that I feel like I'm not good enough when he wants to look at other photos of girls. I feel like he may be lying about learning the female body. I think he just wants to look at them for sexual stuff. I feel like I'm not good enough if he is going to look at all those dirty things. I understand that he wants whats best for me but he doesn't have to hurt me doing it nor go behind my back and look at those awful photos. I feel like he will compare me to those photos and it makes me feel ugly. Please tell me how I can make it better and what to do to help this.


I really wouldn't worry about it. Men are very visual creatures, and they can't help but be fascinated by the female body. It isn't any different than you drooling over Edward Cullen or Brad Pitt. In my opinion, you should try to fix your own insecurities. He is with you, so he thinks you're beautiful. It doesn't sound like you have any other problems in your relationship, so let him keep his porn, and worry about why it freaks you out so much.

Okay, there is a scientific reason why men masturbate. Actually, lots of animals masturbate for the same reason- namely- to get rid of old sperm and make newer healthier sperm. That's good for you in the future if you want to have chidren (you're getting married, I assume you want kids) since it lessens the chance of having children born with disabilities. So, yaye for nature.

Second, there's an underlying issue you're not addressing here. Do you masturbate? Do you think it's shameful? Don't answer here, I don't care- but think about this: how can you feel beautiful if you think touching yourself is gross? Why would you want to pleasure your husband if you think his body is so gross he can't touch his own body? Knowing yourself is the first step to real physical intimacy. Besides- when you ARE married, and you're pregnant, or having your period, or feeling nasty gross and not wanting sex at all- would you prefer that your husband tries to rape you, or would your rather just let him masturbate when he needs to masturbate? If you say "He can just be abstinent when I'm not in the mood" then you aren't ready for marriage.

Seriously, these are things you're going to learn when you're in a long term relationship.

  1. You are real. He loves you. Porn is NOT real. He does not love porn.
  2. Every waking moment is not about you. Every waking moment is not about him. He needs privacy the same as you do.

Would you feel awful and angry if your fiancee walked in on you going to the bathroom and told you that you peeing made him doubt that you love him? That's crazy, right? So is this.

(I have been in a monogamous relationship for 10+ years. We've never had a fight, we have sex at least twice a week and masturbate whenever we feel like it.)

All men look at pictures like that, its what we do. The truth is that your probably not as good looking or sexy as the women in the pictures. On the other hand your boyfriend probably doesnt look like Brad Pitt either! but you still want to be in a relationship with him. He isnt going to leave you any more than you are going to leave him. Yeah he probably does think about the flat stomachs and perfect breasts of the women in the pictures when he is making love to you. Its what men do! Get over it and move on! Because the reality is that your boyfriend looks at almost every woman he meets and asks himself if he would have sex with them, probably even the first time he met your mother, or your sister, or your best friend!

this is so funny,hes crying n told u to sue should do the same n tell him,you r not looking at their dicks,n u r just learning about the male body.