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Why do men always leave me?

Published on January 1, 2012 by linn21

I have been a widow for five years.  My husband is the ony man who didn't leave me, probably because I was the mother of his children.  My entire life, in the beginning, men find me pretty, smart, funny, good in social situations, and sexy.  Everything will be going along fine--usually for five or six months--and then, for no reason that I have ever seen or understood, they begin to change (less affectionate, etc.) and soon afterwards, they just "disappear." they won't call, or return mine, and they never even give me a reason.  They never say what I did or didn't do to make them change their feelings toward me.  I am always left confused, hurt, and very lonely--but mostly just wanting an explanation.  I have had two brief relationships since my husband's death and both of them ended just the way they did when I was young.  I don't think that I change, but I must be doing something terrible wrong.  Can anyone help me?

ANSWERS

Without knowing more about the interactions between you and the men, I can only guess that one reason could be that the quality of the men is lacking. They just wanted to be in a short term relationship to get sex. Long term relationships take daily effort, and they might have been lazy and didn't have that goal.

If it's not the quality of the men, then it could be that you took the relationship too seriously before the man was ready. Are you clingy or needy? Do you have a life besides your man, like hanging out with girlfriends or taking part in hobbies or sports? Men like to be paid attention to, but they don't like to be the center of a woman's universe. When you're dating, regularly ask the man if there's anything he'd like to change in the relationship, or anything he'd like that would improve the relationship. If you regulary communicate, you might get some insight about how he thinks things are going. If you were not any of the negative things listed above, then maybe it's the quality of the men. Maybe you can work on your skills for seeing red flags in a man before you get too involved. Read some library books or internet articles about spotting players and other undesirables. A good book to read is "Why Men Love Bitches." That title is a little misleading, because women don't really have to be bitches, but it points out how to be an independent woman who attracts men and doesn't make the man her universe. Good luck.

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