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There is a difference between confidence and aggression. I think you need to take a step back and reevaluate your approach. It sounds like you justify your approach by saying "well that's just who I am" but you need to realize that while you may be confident (and that's a good thing" having that translate into aggressive sends the wrong message. When men see aggressive they either think a woman is too needy or whiny or doesn't have room in her life for a man at all. Also, relationships are give and take, you have to leave room for him, even in the flirting.

LOL, I get that alot too. I have this problem saying exzactly what I mean and I guess it is a real turn off. Even thought they say they want a "Real" woman who doesnt "Play Games". I wish I could answer your question, but I need the answer too.....Good Luck sister!

Confidence isn't necessarilly expressed as agressivness; in fact insecurity often manifests itself as agressiveness(not to be confused with "agression"--which is definitely not a good dating quality).

It propably boils down to : Are you happy with the type of guys you meet using your current approach. If the ones you REALLY like seem to be put off by it----then....time to retool.

While agressive tactics MIGHT expose you to several guys a week, if they're not suitable partner material then numbers aren't working in your favor. However, if a lower key approach(not wallflower) introduces you to three quality guys a year---those are better numbers.

As a man who typically attracts sexually aggressive or "dominant" women I can say there tends to be a pattern of picking up men who EITHER are not looking for a relationship coz of all their own issues they are working through, OR the kind of spineless pathetic dweebs who are just grateful for the female attention but then prove to be unsatisfying as long term partner material.

Personally? I can stand my ground with women who are confident, and usually prefer to keep them around as friends rather than ever having sex with them because - hey - they are normally the women who have had the most sexual partners, let's be honest...and that scares the hell out of me (can't speak for every man on earth).

The law of averages works out that most guys who are solvent, single, and ready for a relationship are actively out there chatting women up or at least flirting with female work colleagues, the sisters of their friends, and their neighbours, and will find the women they want to date in good time... the guys who are solvent, single, and ready for a relationship who DON'T chat you up first maybe just aren't interested in you or are dealing with confidence issues...either way, when a man tells you your approach is intimidating, just move along. Either he is working through his own issues that you dont need to get bogged down with, or he is just not interested in you.

I think it all depends on what level of aggression you are. There are the very aggressive and the very timid, two ends of the spectrum. The more in the middle you are, the more chances you have for probable mates. But if you lean way more on one side then you'll have less chances of partners.

If you are very aggressive, being on the far end of the spectrum, you'll have a small amount of men whom will enjoy that.

If you are very timid, being on the other far end of the spectrum, well, same thing, a small amount of men will come after you.

But if you are somewhere in the middle, there are more chances for a mate.

Simple as that.

If you want to look at another theory stating that men are naturally more aggressive, then you've got a whole new game to play.

Men have more testosterone, so they are more aggressive. If a woman comes around and is quite aggressive much herself, the men will look the other way, looking for submissive, feminine females.

Aggressiveness is associated with masculinity after all and, well, if you claim yourself aggressive, there will be plenty a masculine male that will say, "Hey, you can't be masculine, I'M masculine," and wish not to date you.

Again that is just a theory to play with.

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