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Why am I always 'one of the boys' and my friend 'the one'?

Published on November 6, 2010 by philipa

I'm 18 and just started college but this has been going on since I was 15. I can't say I'm not attractive, but I'm not a pageant beauty either. I am tall, with a big bust, a small waist and generous hips, but my shoulders are pretty wide for a normal girl (I used to swim a lot). Also, my thighs are bigger than most girls. My friend, on the other hand, has the measurements of beyonce, except for the fact that she's shorter than me. I'm quite aproachable for boys and I tend to make a lot of jokes (I'm quite goofy), while my friend just sits in the corner quiet and misterious. I am myself around everyone and I am as confident and comfortable as I can be with my faults. But I can't understand why all the guys get head over heels over her and see me only as a friend! She is never interested in them though, but still... I don't want to get away from her because of this, I'd like to be able to attract guys too, because everything I've tried up until now has failed! What can I do to get noticed too?


If I were you, I'd ask several friends to be bluntly honest with me and tell me if they've noticed anything about my behavior that would turn off a guy. Tell them they will be doing you a favor, as you're trying to be more succesful in the dating world. I'm not saying you are, but If you are too loud and boisterous, that might be a turn off to a guy. You say you are goofy and like to joke around. That's a good thing, but maybe you do it too much, and need to tone it down, and show other sides to your personality. Maybe you try too hard and seem desparate. I don't know you, I'm just thinking of possible reasons why guys think of you as a buddy.

I don't know how you dress, but maybe try dressing more feminine than you have been, and ask a friend to shop with you and tell you what looks good on you. There will eventually be a man who is crazy about you. He will come along when you least expect it, but it never hurts to put effort in to making yourself the best you that you can be and maybe you can prod things along a little. Good luck!