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where to now? i need help

Published on December 5, 2010 by justmac1

my wife and i have been married for over 4 years and shes always been a little jealous and has accused me of being unfaithful on a few occasions but i have never even thought about messing around and have never given her reason to think so either. well this has strained our relationship and we have even separated once and the last time we got back together she promised that if sshe ever had any doubts or questions that instead of jumping to conclusions she would just ask me and that i would tell her the truth. now every time weve split up my family has welcomed her with open arms and has tried to leave the past behind. well she went off again and thought i was messing around again and instead of asking me about it packed her things and moved out and took alot of my personal things. after that she hacked my yahoo mail account and facebook account and wrote alot of my friends saying i was not who i appeared to be and that i was a child molester and i chatted with underage kids online. then on my facebook account she wrote alot of lies under my name, and put up alot of personal pictures which my entire family saw. well she finally realized that i wasnt messing around and has asked for my forgiveness which i have done but my family cannot forgive her or alot of my friends either. now if we get back together my family and friends will not have anything to do with me and my family means the world to me they say that they have given her too many chances already and i dont know what to do.weve been seeing one another on the sly without anyone knowing but this hiding is stressing us both out. what should i do? should i go back with her and have all my family and friends hate me or do we split up and go our separate ways. i love her very much and know shes sorry. we both love one another and i dont know where to turn to

ANSWERS

Wow, as I read your question, I am just floored to the extent your wife would go to snoop and hurt you. She has been deceptive, vicious, lying, and destructive. I understand that you care for her, but what is there to care about????? I totally agree with your family. There is a saying, burn me once, shame on you, burn me twice, shame on me. Plus, your family are your roots. If you don't have roots, you are going to float aimlessly through life. Your wife obviously has trust issues and needs to get help. I wish you the best as the decision is yours. Think long and hard about what you want. Once again, I agree with your family!

I don't know why you can't see that your wife is mentally ill. I would never be with someone who would e-mail everyone I know and tell them I was a child molester. You must have self worth issues to put up with this behavior as well. A person who left me repeatedly for something I never did wrong is not worth my time. You only have one life to live. If you want to live it being blamed for things you didn't do and embarrasing you in front of family and friends, continue with your dysfunctional relationship. If you want a happy life with someone who treats you the way you would treat them, get a divorce and move on.

Now you're seeing your own WIFE on the sly? Gotta shake your head at that...that's jus' ridiculous! What I get from your situation is a guy who clearly needs to take back his POWER. You're hiding the fact that you're seeing your wife from family/friends because they get upset. Why do they get upset, because you keep subjecting yourself to this woman's emotional abuse. (very very unhealthy) Your relationship can be likened to a house on fire. Everyone who cares about you is outside shouting for you to get out, but you continue to stay inside. That's very painful for them to watch. Honestly...I don't know who I'm more concerned with? Her abusiveness , or you for continuously going back for another helping. It's a toxic situation, you MUST see that. She needs intervention and so do you. Regardless of what she does you need to get into counseling PRONTO! It's obvious you can't see your way out of this toxic relationship. You need someone to help guide you out. ~wish you the absolute best,

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