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when to decide....

Published on October 18, 2013 by clayman

In a situation where im dating 2 women now, not by plan, just happened that 2 relationships developed at the same time in different places. Both are early stage, but emotionally intense, one is already very sexual, and the other is not far behind. No one has brought up exclusivity, but I can see where either of them could assume it. I always thought one ornthenother would flame out quickly, but it hasn't happened, and now does not look like it willl... so, how much do I tell one about the other, and how soon is it reasonable to say something?? I know for some this is probably making too much of things, but this is new territory for me, and at 50, I am very sensitive to treating people respectfully, gently and reasonably....

ANSWERS

I've always thought dating more than 1 person at a time a somewhat shady endeavor. I would bring up all things involved immediately. At 50 it seems you should be looking for exclusivity and to settle down.

Is each person you're seeing only dating you exclusively? You need to find this out and ask them if they want your relationship to be exclusive. Tell each of them you are currently seeing other people; it's a bad idea to make one or both of them think what you have is a monogamous relationship. Honesty is key here. You do not need to tell one person the specifics about the other, just that you are dating around. Don't lead anyone on if you're not willing to actually settle down and have a lasting relationship with this person. If you're still interested in dating or "playing the field" right now, you need to let both women know this. If they want exclusivity you are unwilling to provide at the present time, you're just going to break their heart if you keep stringing them along. Figure out what you want AND what each of them wants. Good luck.

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