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when great sex turns to bad sex ..
I've been having an issue in my relationship for almost a year now:intimacy. I've been with my husband for almost five years. The first time we had sex was mind blowing, earth shattering, leg quivering good. I had been with a couple other men, but it was never even close to that! Every time we had sex after that, it always felt like the first time. It was romantic, feverish, downright hot. He was very attentive to my needs and was a passionate teacher (he had been with 32 women before me). Kissing gets me hot, and he would always take the time to kiss me before and during sex. This passion lasted about three years-- pretty good. Abouta year ago, things abruptly cooled. I know that it is natural in the course of a relationship for this to happen, but it went from searing hot to ice cold relatively quickly. Now the sex is so ... Lazy. He doesn't take any time to attend to my needs, but I am always expected to go down on him. When he does go down on me, its uncoordinated and clumbsy. It's like he can't find the right spots anymore. He doesn't do anytime of foreplay on my end, and when I have expressed the want for it, he makes a pained face and lazily rubs around through my jeans. He won't even put his hand in my panties. The sex lasts about 2 minutes tops. He always leaves satisfied, I always leave in tears. A few months ago I bought a vibrator. I asked him to use it on me to spice things up. He was way too rough with it and the entire time looked like he was disgusted. I locked myself in the bathroom, embarrassed, and cried. To be fair, he has arthritis and I know that he hurts. I try to be sensitive to this as much as I possibly can. Am I being selfish?? He makes me feel so awful for even asking for it. I've expressed my hurt over the situation but he doesn't seem to care. I am craving the lost intimacy, passion and love. I don't know what to do.