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What's next?

Published on October 23, 2012 by cobalt 10

Been dating a great lady for 4mos. She wants to proceed REAL slow. I do not want to lose her but I can't wait forever for " things " to happen. We are both in our fifties and were previously married. Any advice would be appreciated.


Life is too short my dear.i mean,why not?you both know what you want now,you might as well go ahead and finalise things.

It sounds like it's time for an honest and open talk between the two of you. Ask her to "please help me understand" the pace that you'd like the relationship to move-- especially in terms of the "things" that you'd like to happen. Really listen and be upfront with her about how much you're enjoying dating her and that you'd like to move a little bit faster. Be specific about what that means to you and come up with a pace that works for you both.

Best Wishes, Susie and Otto

If she's religious or a "traditionalist" she might be waiting for you to propose. Or she might have some unspoken rule about waiting a year. ("You don't really know a man until you've seen him in all 4 seasons.")

We really don't know. I would simply ask her.

Depends on what these "things" are that you can't wait forever to happen. If you mean sex, while 4 months of dating is not a long time to wait before having sex, it WAS when she grew up, and she may be wanting things to be a lot more long-term and "formal" before she welcomes you into her bed.

Communication is the key here - you and she need to have some open and frank discussions about the desires each of you two have, and where you see things going.