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What's his deal?

Published on March 4, 2013 by bce1005

I've been friends with this guy for a couple years, and we grew really close the past year. He was my confidant for everything, giving lots of advice on guys, and we spent most of our time together. He was in a long distance relationship that ended 9 months ago, and shortly after that ended I actually moved across the country from him.

After I moved, he would call me to talk. We texted constantly. When I was on a work trip near him, he took the day off to come hang out with me. He booked a flight to visit for my birthday, so I assumed that he liked me and when I thought about it - I felt the same.

When he visited, we had a great time, and ended up making out. He said he didn't want to date me (or anyone), but long distance didn't help. So we went back to being friends.

I went to see him with a couple of other friends, and while I was there, one of my other guy friends started making am move on me, and my best friend inserted himself into the situation and made a move on me instead. The next morning, we had the same conversation we'd had when he came for my bday. Doesn't want to date anyone bc he wants to focus on his job and doesn't want to do distance.

I'm just confused. I read this as he just doesn't date me ever - he assures me that's not it. I just feel like if he really wanted to date me, he'd find a way in spite of both of our crazy work schedules that don't align and 3000 miles between us. So I guess my question is - does he want to keep me as a backup which is why he's saying that? Or do you think he's being honest about the reasons now and things could change?


Yes, you're a BACKUP. He can give you a zillion reasons under the sky but it's all bull. He's just waiting for some OTHER woman to steal his heart and it's not you. You're just there in case that doesn't happen. If that's ok with your or not ok with know what to do.