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What to think

Published on January 16, 2014 by rochelle123

Hi There

I have recently run into a man on a dating site that I actually knew many years ago when we were both married..He was also at that time a friend of my ex husband although they do not have contact any longer.

He is now pursuing me something fierce. I do like him and we share many of the same values. what I am afraid of is that him compliments may not be sincere?

He is telling me how he always thought I was special and although he had "a secret crush" on me back in the day he never acted on it out of respect for both our marriages. He remembers details about that time that I have forgotten and even remembers what my glasses used to look like back then.

I don't want to be paranoid but can what he says be true? I have been through a relationship early last year where a man also pursued me very strongly even making plans to get engaged and then suddenly up and left...

I am scheduled for a date with the new guy on Friday and I'd like to know what to look out for.

How can I make sure that this guy is for real before I get too involved?


Dear Rochelle123: It's Date Night! Be happy and be excited. If you go with the attitude of questioning motives, you won't have a good time. When you have time - not tonight - read my new favorite book on dating by Greg Behrendt and his wife, Amiira Ruotola - it's called "It's Just an F***ing Date" which has a lot of good advice on getting back in the game.
In the meantime, just go and have fun. Remember that you set the pace for your dating life. Let him buy you dinner, have a drink (but not too many because all reason leaves when too much alcohol enters) and take your time getting to know him - even though you knew him before, you were both in different situations and that means that this time it's a whole new ballgame. Your familiarity is a good basis to start a date, but it doesn't seal the deal. Be open-minded, be honest (with yourself) about how the date makes you feel (happy, uncomfortable - you get what I mean). It's just a date - so enjoy it! And be sure to write back and let me know how it goes - I'll be waiting to hear - now go have fun! ~LJ Innes Your Tango Expert