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What to do?

Published on September 7, 2013 by tom1009

About 7 years ago, I met this girl. She was stunningly beautiful, kind, courageous, and also delicate & affectionate. For the purpose of this question, let's call her Samantha. Everytime Samantha entered a room, we'd click and I was her main interest, as she was mine. We ended up living together about a year later over summer break. We were each other's best friend, and were inseparable. We never had sex with each other; though we did sleep together at times. I've wanted to pop the question to graduate our relationship to the next level, but I didn't want to jeopardize our deep friendship by asking her out on an actual date. After the summer, Samantha had a guy ask her out and I felt out of place. Mostly I was mad at myself for not stepping up to the plate, and decided to leave. She cried so hard when I told her that I was leaving the state. I also cried deeply and hardly left my bed for weeks after the move.

Up until 4 months ago I did not see anyone. I had no desire over the last 6 years to meet other women. Finally, I let someone into my life, and we've gotten pretty serious. We've exchanged the 'L' word, and we've been sleeping together most every day. We're about to purchase a single home together, but I just came to the realization that all I can think about is Samantha. After 6 years, my chest still feels heavy every time I see a picture of her. This isn't a sexual desire, I just want to be close to her. I miss her smile, her voice; My feelings have not faded in all this time, and I want to know that she's happy where she's at, but ultimately I wish I was there too. What do I do? Is it normal that I still tear up when I think about her? I just really wish things turned out differently...