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What shall I do?

Published on September 27, 2010 by elnara mustafayeva

I am dating a man who is 20 years older than me and as he said not happily married. We've been togather for 1.5 years now. I am 31 years ola, Never been married no kids. He doesn't have children either. His qwife is 8 years older than him. we worked for 2 years together before started dating. we started dating on the base that we are in love with each other and he was gona get devorce. For one year he was telling me that him and his wife are discussing devorce then she found out about me, whihc happened in December last year. I am sotck now. I can't keep on going in this relationship this way any more, as I don't know where its going even tough he is still telling me that he will get devorced. I already had a big nervouse brake down and been on trankvelizers for a month. I do feel better now though. ANd i also have a fear of loosing him, cause I love him. I dont' know what to do for him to make a decision.


Dear Nara,

Dating a married man, as you've just discovered, is dangerous. You have no way of knowing whether he's telling the truth about the status of his marriage. What you do know is that he's married and that is reason enough for you to immediately leave the relationship. I know you have strong feelings for this man and he may have them for you, too, but he's not only married, he's a liar. He's either lied to you or he's lied to his wife. While i understand it would be painful for you to leave him, it's what you need to do. Just as painful surgery is sometimes necessary to your health, you sometimes have to be "surgical" in doing what's emotionally best for you.

So, my strong advice is that you break it off and focus on finding someone who is available. Good luck.

Best, Shela


Thank you very much for the quick response. I will follow your advice and keep you posted. Its obviouse that I do have a fear of loosing but I will do my best to get over it.

Best regards Nara


Do you tihnk if he is hinest he will be back as I am not in touch with him for the last two weeks. He is back in US and Iam home in Baku. He works here on rotation; 1 month on and 1 month off.

Thanks Nara