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What just happened???

Published on November 6, 2012 by cobalt 10

I have been dating a wonderful woman for several months and she finally invited me up to her bedroom. Great right? Wrong. I panicked. Made some lame excuse about it " not being the right time. What is wrong with me?

ANSWERS

Nothing - you (as you said) panicked. A little stage fright the first time or two is perfectly normal. If it does not pass, or if it becomes debilitating, see a mental health professional to explore what might be behind your unusual degree of anxiety.

Maybe it truly wasn't the right time for you. Nothing is necessarily wrong with you and it would be unwise to force yourself to take things to the next level when there's something holding you back. Be kind with yourself and get curious. Without over-thinking this, ask yourself what made you hesitate. If you choose, you can even share with this wonderful woman what's going on with you so that she knows you're interested in her and working on whatever held you back that night.

Best Wishes, Susie and Otto

Nothing's wrong with you -- in fact, maybe something's "right" as you seem to want to be with her in the right way at the right time, whatever that is for both of you. If her invitation to sex didn't get you going at that particular moment, it was smart for you to postpone your first time with her. Remember: You only get a "first time" once!

Since you think she's "a wonderful woman," if you want this to be more than a one-time hook-up, let her know. Then set the stage for for your "first time" in bed together. Make your next date sexy, fun and memorable. Take charge of lighting her fire and yours -- and see where it leads you.

Enjoy! Barbara

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