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what is his attachment style

Published on March 5, 2014 by girlstar

I had been in a romantic friendship with a insecure man (from my perspective)for a long time and I endured a lot of dismissive and slightly immature behaviour. we only had surface communication via text, which bothered me but I believe men should pursue me first. I was also on edge a lot due to his fickle persona. I stupidly thought it was a chaser/chasee flirtaseous game for quite a while. I am a secure women and mistook a lot of his behaviour as resistant but a challenging man to pursue. I got a lot of mixed messages from him, there was just a childish persona from him when it came to emotions and revealing this thoughts , almost idiosycrantic. I mistook his detachment physically and emotionally was due to the space he needed, he acknowledged the space thing he required. I was on the verge of frustration and confusion and anger, like I was being tested to an extent. Then he mentioned that he blamed his parents for the way he is, anger towards his mother since childhood and he was having counselling. I just had doubts about this mans' lack of relational skills let alone intimacy skills. and I just inadvertently discovered, he is now in a relationship with another woman, she is all loved up about him, but I'm not so sure he is. He said we were not connecting which he never was forthcoming about anyway, and that I was looking for something he couldn't give me. HE just seemed to have a very flawed perception of what we had, I am very hurt that he can jump into a relationship and I went through hurdles to sustain his friendship at the least. I felt that I picked up the vibes from day one and initution lead me to believe he had some hang ups. but I gave him a chance as I really saw how he was trying change the last couple of months. Obviously I missed the clues. What do you think his attachment style was as I don't want to put myself through this again. Anita

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