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What does it means ?

Published on June 5, 2012 by lostinparis


I'm 26 years old single woman, living in Paris. I'm working. I'm very close from my family and my friends. I have 2 close groups of Friends : 1/ I have 4 wonderful girlfriends that all are almost engaged ! 2/ I have wonderful singles friends, mostly men.

I'm precising the gender and their relationship status because my problem come from this.

A few months back, i've been invited for a big party at one of my friends' house. I'm got in touch with one guy that I only saw one or 2 times in my life. We hit it off right away, we had a wonderful first date, a few sext then He had to go on a business trip. After that he came closer to our group of friends and stopped all the dating with me. We almost hooked up a few times but everytime nothing happens. I invited him one day to come over (for dinner) and he said that the timing was off, that he was after another girl and asked that we'll remained friends. I said yes because, I like Him physically. So i kept things cool because that how I am about those things, they don't get me uncomfortable.

But now that he's chasing that girl, that I saw once at a party, he keeps on teasing me when he sees me, like dirty dancing when we're at a nightclub, sitting next to me, touching my arms, buying me drinks sometimes ... I don't know what does it means... He clearly doesnt know what he wants, and one of my guy friends tells me that it's weird.

What should I do, because now I like him as friend and really don't want to change things but he defintely need to clear his mind right ?

Thank you for your advice and for reading me.

All the best,

Lost in Paris


He likes the ego boost of you having a crush on him. He doesn't like you enough to persue you. Why are you spending time thinking about, and wanting for a "friend", someone who plays with you like a cat toy? Have some self worth and self love and don't let yourself be treated like this. Move on. There's someone worthy of you out there. Go find him. It's certainly not this man. Get some books from the library on how to build your self esteem. Good luck.

We totally agree with the recommendation that you spend time building your self esteem and self love. So important! We also recommend that you be honest-- with yourself and with him. If you truly just want to be friends with him then let him know. Be clear with him and then follow through-- don't participate in the dirty dancing & rubbing of thighs if you're not into it. Clear signals from you will let him know that you're up for being just friends and he can then stop the games.