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What does it mean when she says she needs space and how should I take it ?

Published on August 2, 2009 by hss1971

Im 38 & seeing a 31 yr old girl. I worked with her for about 2 yrs. Her fiance of 2 yrs up and left her and their 1 yr old son in April of this year. In July we dicided to take things slow. Well things sped up. A week later she invited me to sleep over. I stayed with her for 2 weeks. We made love 3 times in 2 weeks. Then she said she needs space and to go back to taking it slow. But this slow down sure feels like a breakup. Our first weekend apart and no phone calls or texts. I feel like I love her with all my heart and miss her terribly. I'm worried she will think I lost interest in her and look for someone else.


Everybody has been here. It is really hard to accept that someone you care so much about doesn't feel the same way. As a way of protecting ourselves, and keeping hope alive we go into denial. I think the message she is giving is clear. She just isn't coming out with it because she doesn't really want to hurt you. People typically don't "WANT" to hurt someone they know cares about them. She's trying to let you down easy, get her freedom without coming out and saying it. I think sometimes it would be a lot easier to just rip the proverbial bandaid off and get it over with. The good news is, you WILL find someone who is on the same page as you. But don't waste time on this one, you might miss out finding that perfect someone who is out there somewhere right now, this very moment.... looking for her Prince Charming! YOU! Good luck to you, just keep an open heart and open eyes, you could meet this girl anywhere, the grocery store, the gym, the library, where ever! The more places you are, the better chance you have. Don't take hard feelings and baggage with you though, it is a sure killer for a new relationship. Talking about how horrible you allowed someone to treat you will only give the impression that you don't have any self respect. Keep your head high and move along.

You have to realize that she got dumped by her fiancee. There were times when she needed your comfort, but then she wasn't ready for a committed relationship. She probably still loves him. Just because he left didn't mean that her love for him shut off like a faucet. Unfortunatley, it doesn't work that way when we get hurt.

I'm not saying that she used you. I think that the two of you are in different places right now. You probably see the qualities in her that draw you closer, and she may even see the same in you. You're probably ready, but she's not, and she probably won't be for some time.

Both Tbone and Kate are right. You must let the girl go.What if she's mending fences with the guy and there's no room or time for you ?.He's the father of the child and can come back at any time and be well received just because of that . He'll always be there.My advice : Start looking for another but you must be friendly with all kinds of people and make conversation as much as possible with many , you may get refered by grandma to her niece or the cashier at the bank or store may be available for dating. Go and dare to do .

well ma answer would be if shes telling she needs space u might want to give it to her cuz if not it will eventually drive a wedge even worse in ur relationship