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What does he mean? "We'll talk soon"

Published on July 3, 2012 by smilingkiwibee

What does he mean when he says: "I'm dealing with a lot of stuff right now, but we'll talk soon."

I've been "seeing" this guy for a while now, and things have recently become extremely confusing. When we are together he seems very interested in 'us' and displays a large amount of affection towards me. However, when we are not together things seem very distant between us, especially recently. I am down to the last straw with this relationship and I decided to confess how I've really felt about us and that was his reply. I am very unsure as to what this means, and whether I can believe that he will actually get back to me or not. I told him if he didn't want to take things further to tell me right then and that I would move on and yet this was his reply.


This is a tough question. It's really difficult for us to know what's happening without hearing his side of the story.

We cannot tell if you are a normal woman who genuinely is being given the "polite brush off," or if you are a needy insecure woman who has to be the center of his every waking moment even when he's taking care of his responsibilities.

Good news! In either case the answer is the same: Back off, get out of his face, and get busy doing interesting things in life. If he does love you, he'll appreciate the space and will love you even more. If he doesn't love you, you'll have the opportunity to find someone who does.

Dear smilingkiwibee:

Guys have this strange way of being directly indirect. They think they're telling you how it is, but to us girls, they seem to be talking in circles. Guys and girls just communicate differently. I would take him on his word and give him some space. You never know what a person is going through unless they share it with you, and obviously he's not in the sharing mood. Guys just don't share their feelings the same way us girls do. Whether he's just taking a break or not into you anymore, only he knows for sure, just bide your time with other activities and leave yourself open to meet other people as well. You're not married, you're not engaged, and currently you're only somewhat involved - in other words, you're free to do as you please. If and when Mr. Talk Soon decides to open up and/or come back, he might just find you busy with a new interest. Guys never appreciate someone who puts their life on hold for a "maybe later" relationship. Be nice, be kind, but don't be so available. If a guy likes you, your unavailability will drive him back - and if he doesn't, than it's better that you're willing to move on. It may not seem like it, but you're in the driver's seat when it comes to your datinig life. Tell yourself that you're a great catch and any guy who catches you single is lucky. I hope it all works out for you in the best possible way. LJ

i'm going to be brutally honest. there is a 99% chance he's just not that in to you. no matter how busy he is, if he truly wanted to be with you he would make the time. since you said you confessed your feelings and this was his reply, there is a chance he isn't sure he wants to be with you, but he's also not sure he DOESN'T want to be with you. but if he was absolutely sure, he would say so. it's possible he's just keeping you on the back-burner, keeping you as his "just in case" girl, until someone better comes along. and you don't deserve that. do not wait around for this guy. move on. you deserve better than a guy who isn't sure he wants to be with you. you don't deserve to be this guy's "only in private" girlfriend. if he were truly crazy about you, he would be willing to do anything to keep you in his life and to prove to you he wants to be with you and only you. and it's also possible he was just trying to be nice and let you down easy. either way, i would not count on hearing from this guy again. however, there is a 1% chance he is interested and there actually is a lot he's dealing with. i'm giving him the benefit of the doubt here, maybe a family member fell ill or there was a death in the family. if that is the case, then i'd give him another chance. but under no circumstance should you be waiting around for him to make up his mind. like i said, if his mind was made up about you he would say so. move on no matter what. go out and date new guys. sign up for a cooking class or something that's always caught your interest. go out with the girls and have fun. (and it doesn't hurt to post pics of your newly independent self on facebook to make him realize what he missed out on). you deserve to be with someone who knows he wants to be with you and isn't afraid to say it. so don't hold your breath waiting around for this guy, go out and find another. good luck!