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What do you do when your fiance is too close to his sister?

Published on April 27, 2009 by donnak

My fiance calls his sister nearly everyday, and is more involved in her life than ours sometimes. She is the person he talks about and he makes decisions based on how she and her husband do everything. They just had a baby and you would think it was his.

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I have had this go on years ago, it isn't normal and I didn't care for it either. Talk to your husband about this and ask him if he would have rather be married to his sister?

Sadly, I've done that. I think it did hurt his feelings, but it has improved ever so slightly. I still have a tremendous problem with her though. She really intimidates me. I feel like I have to be like her so he is happy.

Okay. Yeah, asking him if he wants to be married to his sister is not going to help. You do need to talk to your husband and tell him that you know how much he loves his sister and that is great, but sometimes you feel left out. Approach this conversation in a kind and loving manner. The worst thing you can do is to be unkind about it.

Explain how you feel left out and that you would like him to include you and take some steps to make you and him become a family. Be willing to let him think about it. Give him space and time. But ultimately, his sister can no longer be his main woman, that has to be you. Odds are he doesn't even see how its affecting you. He's just a kid hanging out with his sister.

And you need to work on not feeling intimidated by her. In your husbands mind he's not comparing and it's not a choice between you two. So stop thinking about it like that.

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