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What do I mean, where is this going to go, and should I leave or stay?

Published on March 5, 2010 by pensivelybroken

My ex and I have been talking and dating on and off for over 3 years. I believe we both love each other and we were one anothers first everything. We have not date anyone since each other. He was talked to a few females and I have talked to a few guys but no dating or hanging out. He says he wants to be alone. I am wondering if he is pushing me away. Is he pushing me away? I do not understand why he would be because when we are together it seems just like it used to be. Maybe it is because we are exs. We aren't in a relationship and we still have sex and when I ask him what do I call this. He tell me we are friends.... :( I don't feel that we are and I want to stay close because its not good to be alone forever. He could also change his mind when he gets into the real world and see that I was there for him. As of right now, we are exs but friends still being intimate with no commitment not talking to others. We text sometimes... he always takes forever to reply and when I ask will things get back to the way they were to see where we will go.. He doesn't ever answer. He is always working. I keep asking and I may be getting aggravating. I hardly see him. He is there when I am upset and I go to him but it seems like things are still sour. Also, he says that I should go try and talk to someone else. He said that he would still be my friend if I did. But I honestly don't believe I can. I just get pissed with any guy that is not him. And he moved on because of my mouth. Not date move on but stop caring sooo much. I told too much in the past but now I have fixed that and I am a little impatient. That is why I wanted things to get back to how they were to see where things would go. He treats me like his girl still tells me he loves me and he is always there. I dont think he means what he says about being alone unless he is having a hard time letting go. I need some advice. Help!

ANSWERS

There is no confusion as to what is going on. He does not want to have a relationship with you. Period! He is not confused. He is not pushing you away. You are broken up. You have turned into a friend with benefit. He gets sex whenever he wants it with you, but he does not want to have a relationship with you. He doesn't answer your "where is this relationship going" texts because he doesn't see you as a relationship. It is not going anywhere for him. I honestly don't see how he could be any clearer about that. You are making yourself delusional about what your relationship really is. He does not see you as his girlfriend and he does not want you as his girlfriend. You need to stop telling yourself that he's going to eventually change his mind or that he doesn't mean what he says. You can't change his mind. He told you what it is. And it's honestly very naive of you to think that he isn't seeing anyone else. He told you to talk to someone else or see other people, translated in relationship talk that means "I'm seeing other people so you should too because we are not in a committed relationship." If you have any sense of self-respect at all you should cut him out of your life completely. He is not going to date you again and he is really just using you for sex at this point. I'm sorry to have to be so harsh with you but you need to wake up and smell the coffee, girl.

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