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What do I do when I find incriminating things on my bf's phone?

Published on July 7, 2010 by myhtak

So last week my boyfriend left his cell phone at home and I looked through it. He always takes his phone with him everywhere (litterally.....I mean into the bathroom, to go outside and smoke, etc). Well, he had a lot of random girls phone numbers on there and he has a myspace app on his phone so I went on it and it was already logged on and I looked in his inbox and he was adding random girls....(some from around the area and some out of state)...and told them that they could text him whenever. I don't know what to do....I consider this cheating...and we have a 2 month old baby and live together. I am stuck at home all day with the baby and he works two jobs and comes and goes whenever. I don't trust him anymore after the suspicious behavior and finding this stuff....what do I do? How do I bring it up that I went on his phone and should I even bring it up? I am pretty sure he knows something is up.....and its hard because we are adjusting to being new parents and are both stressed and tired.....ughhhh HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I am sorry to hear about your situation. It must be hard to stay home all day with the baby and watch your man come and go as he pleases. I am sure there is a reason why you are checking his phone. There must be something you are not mentioning. Regardless, I think it is very fishy that he takes the phone everywhere. What is he hiding? why is he adding random girls on myspace and telling them it is ok to text him anytime. I think he maybe cheating on you. I am sorry to tell you that. Just because you have a baby with someone, it does not mean you have to settle and be with them. You have to be an example for your child. Being stressed does not give you an excuse to cheat. You are suppose to talk to each other and not to OTHER GIRLS. Be strong and confront him. He needs to grow up and not be so immature. He is a father now and start to act like a man. If he can't , you need to leave him. If he knows you can accept his bad bahavior, he will get worse. He knows you will not leave him.

You are in a pretty stressful situation right now, and I'm sorry that is the case. Handling a 2-month-old baby while all of this is going on can't be easy. I'm really shocked, however, at your boyfriend's behavior. He has a baby and girlfriend at home (both of whom need taking care of), so why is he spending so much time on Facebook adding random girls in the area and telling them to text him? This is a form of cheating, and if I were you, I would confront him. Shouldn't he be focused on providing for the baby and for you right now? Why is his mind straying to other women? To me, this is just really bizarre, and the sooner you air this matter out, the better.

It is a very difficult situation since you have a child with this guy. Honestly, if you have to go through a guy's personal things then already there is no sense of trust. And by doing this, you now know why there is no sense of trust and why you felt that way! This guy is disrespectful, a liar and unworthy. You have a child with him and this is how he treats you?? That is so disrespectful to your child, to you and to your family. Cheating is cheating. He should not be talking to other women. Plus, if you let this go and stay with him, you are just basically telling him this what he can get away with. You can find better. You deserve better.

Confront him about it. Yes, you going through his phone isnt something that works in your favor, but both of you are trying to start a life together. It is important he is on the same page you are and at the maturity level he should since he is a father now! Sit with him and talk to him about it. Let him know you will work it out with him, because its not only you and him , there is a third little person who is more important than anything he has going on . I had many guy friends and admirers before i went in to the relationship i am now, i realized i had to leave them behind if i wanted it to work , and i did. I have no problem doing it because i do care for my boyfriend immensly. For you hw will come around if it is important to him. Best of luck to you!!

Cuttin' to the chase here: the bastard, if he isn't already actively cheating on you, is definitely "looking!" Please trust me on this. I have lived with a "serial cheater" for 30 plus years, and they will NOT change! Do yourself and your baby a HUGE favor and kick the lying douche bag to the farthest curb you can find! Also, since he is a "player," YOU have EVERY RIGHT to protect yourself and your child by seeking out ANY information you can; i.e. his phone, checkbook, receipts. Copy what you can so you will have legal proof of his infidelity. You may decide to stay with the jerk, but keep this information anyway...hidden.

You are probably relatively young so my advice is to get out as quickly as you can, and make a better life for yourself and the baby. As it is, you have TWO children....the baby has a good chance of maturing. Your boyfriend's time for growing up is past, Lose him.