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What do I do if my boyfriend has stopped trying?

Published on January 8, 2012 by livelaughlove6

In the beginning of our relationship, my boyfriend would work very hard to make me happy. We would go on unique dates every time we would go out. He would always pay for me and say that it was his "job" when I tried to help him with the bill. He would always ask me what I wanted to do. A lot of time has gone by, and he has slowly stopped doing all of these things. He worked so hard to get me, and he does not understand that he has to work equally hard to keep me. We never go out to dinner anymore. I have been paying for everything. When we are together, we usually just stay home or go to the same place. In his defense, I am extremely easy going and low maintenance, so I've just recently begun to notice his lack of effort. He always comments on my easy-going nature. I don't want him to have to spend a bunch of money on me, but I would like him to keep our relationship spontaneous and adventurous. I don't know how to tell him without sounding like I am extremely bored in our relationship or without it seeming like I am asking for him to clean out his wallet for me.


Why not say to him things have been really calm these last few months and you were thinking of a date night , he can choose the place or you can . Discuss how you guys would be paying for things. I agree that he has to work at keeping you but so do you. If you say he thinks your easy going that's what he's doing . He's relaxed and because people do get comfy in relationships they tend to forget to be romantic all the time. Do yourself a favour and read Men are from mars and women are from Venus. It really opned my eyes to they way men work. And remember its ok to talk about money when your in a relationship and it is really ok to ask for the things you need. xoxo

I would also suggest "In Sync with the Opposite Sex" by Allison Armstrong.

You could bring up things you liked in the past as a kind of compliment. As in: "I really enjoyed when we..." or "That was really special to me when...".

There is an article called "Men Up Your Standards" on my blog that may give you more ideas. You could also point out the blog and hope that he reads that article.