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Give Advice: My Fiance Is Overweight

Published on December 8, 2010 by debbisnax

I love my FH [future husband] and he is a really wonderful man, but the problem I am having is that he is really really overweight. I want to spend the rest of my life with him and I want to be able to have a good sex life with him. I know that my weight is not perfect, but I am in a LOT better shape than he is. And I dont know what to do to spur him to get up and get moving and to watch what he eats. I am really concerned for his health. I love him and I don't want to lose him to an early death due to his weight. But I don't know how to bring it up to him that this is a problem for me. I feel that it is straining every aspect of our relationship and I dont want that. What do I do?


Join the gym with him,do yoga,cook for him.tell him u r going to pay hin with BJS is he takes care of himself

Tell him exactly what you've written here, and then ask him if he's willing to go to weight watchers with you. If you're both following the same menu and points plan, he won't feel like he's doing it alone. Take a walk together after dinner. Make your outings be active like hikes in a park, around a lake, or a beach. Pack a healthy lunch with fruits, etc. My fiance is a little overweight as well. I never brought up his weight, but when he talks about wanting to lose weight, I pointed out that he drinks a lot of calories in the day with Pepsi. I suggested other low calorie drinks, and now he drinks diet iced tea instead of Pepsi during the day. These lifetime changes are what sticks. Good luck!

Hi; try to talk to him naturally, explain to him that if you think this way it is because you really love him, that you want nothing but the best for him; share activities ogether, walk while talking to each other about your future, find recipies and prepare them together, there is another thing i find it nice to see the program " the biggest looser" when you see people that lost weight and it influenced their life positively , that may encourage your partner to do the same;

Dear Debbisnax, with people we love it is never difficult to talk with, just talk to him as if you're talking to yourself, with your heart , with your love and feelings;

this is my first advice here on this site, hope it would help you;

wish you the best!

Unfortunately this is going to take some serious guts and an uncomfortable conversation that most people never really want to have.

Maybe you should come up with a game plan for the two of you to make it fun for the new year. Reach your goal weights get a trip... Every ten pounds he loses he gets something from you... Get creative, and after coming up with a game plan talk to him about your concerns. Unfortunately if someone wants to change their lifestyle they have to do it for themselves or it will never last, hopefully you can help him see the light.
Talk to him about how in the future if you want kids it takes a lot of energy and stamina.
Whatever it is you have to sit down and talk, and don't be surprised if he gets defensive. Good luck