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what can cause a guy to only compliment behind your back?

Published on May 23, 2012 by ladymagic2

i love my boyfriend, but he tends to compliment me behind my back. example, he will tell his friends how pretty i am, my eyes, ect. when to my face though or over the phone he rarely ever compliments me. i tell him hes pretty and cute and stuff but ive asked him why and he doesnt know but he says he knows he should. is there any kind of reason this might be? like possibly hes scared im going to deny him or somthing? 

ANSWERS

I wouldn't worry about the reason. You've asked. He says he knows he should and you have 3 choices: accept it, change it, or leave. If you can't accept it, you might want to tell him again that it really bothers you and you would appreciate it if he would work harder at doing it. If he doesn't do it after you've asked twice, you're going to figure out how important this is for you in a relationship and then you have to decide to accept it or leave.

We agree with Susan's reply... Focus less on wondering why he does this and more on clarifying and opening to what you do want. You could spend days and days coming up with reasons why and they might all be wrong. You've made a request for what you want, now you can start looking for anytime he IS appreciative of you or compliments you in any way (this might be subtle). Acknowledge any steps he takes in the direction of giving you compliments and appreciation and let him know that you've noticed with your own appreciation.

If you look and you honestly can't find any evidence that he is meeting your request, then it could be time to assess your relationship. Are there other ways he connects with you and shows that he cares about you? Can you be okay with and fully receive his way of showing you affection or not?

Best Wishes, Susie and Otto Collins

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