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Give Advice: Should I Ask Him To Be My Wedding Date?

Published on June 4, 2012 by klorraine89

I have a family member who is getting married in about a month. She would like to know if I'm bringing someone with me or if I'm going solo. I want to ask the guy that I'm dating but we've only been together for a few weeks. I'm worried it might freak him out or be too much pressure too soon! At the same time, I would love for him to come and spend some time meeting everyone. Is it too soon to ask him or would it be okay?

ANSWERS

Yes, I suppose it may scare him. Meeting your family at a wedding is huge pressure. If it goes as normal family events go, everyone will want to know who he is, what he does and they may want to ask awkward questions about your relationship. But, if you honestly believe that in the weeks you've known him that he could handle that and if both of you believe that your relationship has huge potential, then it could be worth asking him. It would also help if you asked him in a light-hearted way that will ease the pressure of the situation.

Not too early at all. Any guy with a moderate knowledge of women knows how horny they get at weddings (must be all that commitment in the air) so he will assume he's up for a wild night of sexual abandon with you. All other considerations, such as meeting your family, pale into insignificance. Do it.

Our advice to you is to be upfront and honest when you invite him to go with you to the wedding. Let him know that you're not trying to rush things and that you think it would be fun for him to come with you to this event- no hidden agenda involved. Create space for him to answer honestly. If he says he's not ready to meet your family, don't take it personally or let it ruin your budding relationship. Honor where he is and go ahead to the wedding and have fun.

Great question -- while you do run the risk that his joining you at a family event might be "too much, too soon" -- if you're both quick on your feet, light-hearted and playful, you should be able to roll with the punches, whatever they might be. Offer up the idea to him, letting him know it's OK for him to say Yes or No. If you do go together, you might want to let your family members/friends know ahead of time that this is a new love interest, so they hopefully won't start in with the "When are YOU TWO getting married?" pressure questions... Have FUN, keep things playful and upbeat.

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