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Wasting time?

Published on September 7, 2012 by angel1387

Long story, but my live in boyfriend cheated on me last year.  I had a feeling 'something' was up, but he always said the right things to make me think my past was putting those thoughts in my head.  Well, we've been in therapy for a while now.  Sometimes, things are great.  The problem is this:  i have caught him on numerous occassions 'sexting' or randomly starting (& then sexting) convos thru FB with people he doesnt even know.  He's very flirty and sexual so there is no denying what his intent is.  He's been confronted, we've talked,we are always 'working' on things.  I'm not sure he will ever be able to stop his tech sexual desires/habits! he lives w/ me, i love him dearly, but am i just living in a false reality and making myself truly miserable in this process??!! I have tried to understand it.  He offers no help. He HATES talking about it.  I'm an emotional type, he is much more reserved.  I feel like i am just lost. I dont trust him, and he knows it.  I fel like (eventho he swears he's not doing it anymore) he has just gotten better at being discrete,


Oh my Gosh!! It is me!! Writing to myself!! Seriously, this exact thing happened to me. I still don't trust him, he swears he stopped, and that I am the one who needs to get over it. I and you are right, he just works harder at hiding things now.. I pray daily for the strength to get over it or get over him... It is a daily struggle. And I am the "bad guy" each day if I am no longer my cheerful, loving self... I don't have an answer for you, but knowing that there are more men like him out thee, and more women like me out there, givese some peace... Perhaps just enough peace to call it a day finally... You are not the bad guy!! HE is! Take care of you...

He doesn't want to talk because he knows it's an addiction and he cannot stop himself.

Now the question goes back to you: Do you want to be with a man who is a compulsive sex-ter all of your life?

Some women choose yes. Some choose no.

And by the way, if you choose yes, can you forfeit the right to ever bring it up again?

Thank u both! I am glad to know, altho sad as well, that someone out there understands my situation. And I agree, I think he is addicted. I even told him that, w/ our therapist. Why would he go thru all the trouble of staying, therapy, knowing im unhappy.. he can't be happy either, right? The worst part is, he has a 3 yr old son who I adore & lives w/ us 50% of the time. Not only am I wasting my time, but ill lose that little boy. I think I know, deep down, what to do... but how do I find the strength to end my relationship and lose my lil man too?

Yes, finding the strength is the hardest part. Any woman who has ever had to walk out on a men she loved has faced this terrible moment. I guess the first thing is to have a good cry, then pray to God for strength, then share with a friend and ask for his/her support for the next three months.

Be prepared to have a lot of second thoughts. It is completely normal.