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Was/Is he interested?

Published on October 1, 2010 by lyric

An attractive male co-worker of mine was at one point always introducing me as "a very good friend of mine" to others, although we had not known each other long. He was extremely helpful and would always find reasons to call me. So I would reciprocate. He was certainly easy to talk to and a very good resource for me! (fyi..We're both directors.) He would also stop by my office occasionally to chat. I soon noticed him staring at me at meetings or in the café, etc. I also caught him several times eyeing my ring finger. His assistant began to ask me personal questions. This became annoying as it happened frequently. I also learned she was asking my assistant these same questions about me (e.g. was I married, did I have children, how many?) Several months down the road he suddenly started to become distant. While he would still watch me from a far he would not speak to me as much. There was also job related data I would end up receiving from his assistant instead of from him.
One day I called and asked him to walk with me to Barnes & Noble to pick up a book. He wasn’t in so I left a voice message. When I returned from a meeting he had left me a message stating he wouldn’t be able to and “if you have something to ask me just call me when you return”. For some reason this was offensive to me and I asked him about it. I said, “……I thought we were friends”. He stated , “I thought you had some business matter to discuss that’s why I said you can just call me when you return from your walk”. Was that odd to you too? His aloofness continued so on yet another day I asked him flat out about this "change" and if I had suddenly become difficult to talk to. He responded "if it's something relevant to your department and of substance I have no problems talking to you”. Grant it he said it real nice, but what tha *&%! does that mean? I just stopped initiating conversation and backed away from the bronco. Soon his assistant started asking me why ‘I stopped speaking to her boss’. I was surprised since this was something I never discussed with her and of course, only he and I would know. To make an even longer story short, her boss was often a topic of our conversation because she was so curious about “what happened between us”. Where did this come from? I soon started to question the initial “very good friend of mine” explanation he offered to others. However, I have to be real, at our age we're way too old for the “cat and mouse game”. Then there’s also this company rumor he is “on the down low”. At any rate, if he were interested in me he would just say so. Wouldn’t he? So I really thought we could be friends and the type of colleagues that could ride to meetings together, have lunch from time to time, chit chat, etc. but our interactions have completely deteriorated to the point now we don’t speak and he won't even look at me. We’ve never had negative exchanges or anything. Did I miss something?