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Was my 'friend with benefits' screwing my head too?
I am broken-hearted and could not understand the logical development of this FWB relationship.
I met this man 4 years ago, he had a lived in girlfriend and I just broke up with mmy ex. We were attracted to each other instantly when we saw each other and started flirting for a bit before we went for a date. We slept after our second date, he did tell me that he had a girlfriend and he would not fall in love with me, I accepted it as I was still in pain from the break-up. We met up about once a month, no discussion on personal life, just pure physical relation.This lasted for about a year before I moved to another country. Six months passed, he contacted me and invited me to go see him. I went only after several invites. To my surprise, he told me that he thought of me a lot, missed me a lot during the passed months, and he didn't know that he loved me until I left. He asked me if he was just a tool to me, and wanted me to tell him that I loved him. I did say that I love him as that was how I felt at that point. We had a great time, I went back to the country where I worked, but we maintained close contacts and he was telling me how much and what he loved about me. We tried arranging meetings, usually involved me flying to where he was. It didn't work out due to schedules of both. Another half a year passed, he moved to another country to work but he invited me over but i began to receive lesser and lesser texts from him. Finally, I had the chance to go see him six months later, which means there was an interval of one year we didn't meet, he was excited and arranged the meeting.
First day I arrived, he came to see me at the hotel at noon, we were happy to see each other and were intimate. He didn't come that night as he said he had to finsh up work before we leave for the weekend to another town. He texted me to tell me he loved me and that he was mine. The next day, he came over to see me at noon, we were intimate and he told me he loved everything about me and that I was perfect. He could see why men who went out with me were stuck on me, just like him, he is stuck on me. He said he would love to have a baby girl who ressembles me with me. I could move in with him, be husband and wife, and he would take care of us. He said with a baby, I would never leave. That night we left to our resort for the weekend, we had fun chatting and catching-up. I dozed off for a while due to time difference but was awken by a phone ringing, I saw the name of a caller, it was a lady. He got all nervous and cancelled. But when we arrived at the destination, he made a call immediately. Then at the restaurant, when I excused myself to go to the restroom, he stepped out to make a call again. When he returned, he said it was his daughter, and he mumbled a name which was identical to the name of the caller. Throughout the night, his phone was ringing non-stop, and the next morning, he listened to his message and I could hear an angry lady over the end. The rest of the afternoon was awkard, his mind was somewhere and was constantly on textes. That evening, I asked him what time we were going back to town, he told me we would leave at noon and he would send me to the hotel he has reserved for me. I asked if he was not going to stay with me that night. He said he had a personal obligation and had to leave but he would come see me on Mondy before I fly off in the evening. I was pissed off and told him that I was there to see him and if he was unavailable, he could have said no to my visit. He said he wanted to see me and that I had bought the ticket. He was insistent about leaving for his personal obliagtion, I changed my flight to leave a day earlier. And I told him that he took me for a fool and I will never see him ever. I was very upset and broke down. That evening, over diner, his face was quite flushed and eyes were teary. The next day, he sent me to the airport and asked if I would take him around if he come visit me. I didn't answer. at departure, I gave him a hug, he kissed me on the forehead and lips, looking sad. He texted me the next day to apologise and said was sad to have hurt me. He told me I was precious and noble. I asked if he loved me ever. He said he did not know if it was love but he definitely was fond of me, feelings and admiration, a great deal. Our relationship to him was precious, dream, authentic and sensual.
I was very sad and didn't understand anything of what happened and what went wrong. I was fine and okay to be just 'friends with benefits', but why did he come with all declarations of love? Even two days before our confrontation, he told me he loved me and he was mine, and two days later, he was not sure if his feelings was love. Why did he lie about the caller and the existence of other women in his life?
I am confused and above all feel like an absolute fool being rejected and played out. But one thing for sure, I am determinded to stop contacting him to maintain at least whatever dignity is left of me.
I would appreciate your opinions on his behaviors and on how I could get him out of my mind.